I am beginning to think that SD is brain dead (with a quick update)
Today, being Sunday and my only actual total day off from school since Memorial Day, I decided to sleep in past 8. Since I am a teacher, sleeping in for me now usually means I get up at 7:30 instead of 6:00 am. I went to the bathroom and found a note on the mirror saying that SD had a 7:30 am meeting this morning and would be back at around 11:00. I went downstairs and heard my grandson screaming hysterically for his mommy since he had woken up all alone GOD KNOWS WHEN.
Now, DH is still asleep (it is 10:22, but I know he has been hurting again) and I am fuming. SD couldn't have mentioned the meeting yesterday? We were both in bed when she got home last night, but wouldn't it have been a bit more responsible to have woken someone up this morning before she left? Does this mean we can expect her to just drop her son off at 7:00 am on another Sunday when she finally moves out of here? She is the most irresponsible, self-centered, arrogant creature I have ever had to deal with and she just keeps getting worse. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
She just got home and I told her that he had woken up hysterical. Her response "I had a MEETING." I said she could've woken one of us up and she said "Well, he was asleep when I left." I am very proud of myself for not punching her in the mouth. She honestly didn't seem to care that he had been screaming his head off and sobbing for who knows how long!
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what the f......!!!!
NCP should have rights too! That isnt brain dead, she had enough common sense to remember a meeting that she had to attend but she couldnt remember to let you know so someone was aware that that the baby needed care while she was gone?!!!!!!! That is pure irresponsibility!!!!!! Not to metion the inconsideration she showed to you and DH by not making either of you aware that grandson was going to be your resposibility in the morning...How in the hell is this young lady going to manage when she is out of your home with her child? I would tell her to get her little ass into some parenting classes or I am going to notify DFCS of her disregard for her child and let them order her into the classes themselves( you dont really have to notify them, as this is your grandchild) but maybe just the threat will get her ass motivated....just a thought
Not brain dead, just selfish
Sounds like she does not deserve that precious child. Kudos to you for being a good step parent. I think she would have gotten Bitch slapped if you had been me.
Okay, I can see this from both angles...
Your SD, as a young 'adult' (in her eyes), probably figured that because her son was sleeping, that it was best not to wake anyone and let others sleep. How considerate of her, right? But quite an irritation to you, for obvious reasons that we responsible adults understand... but she's not experienced all of that yet. She's still in her young naive state, thinking and acting like she has the world by the a$$, am I right? So, take that into consideration.
On top of that, I am willing to bet that she's ALWAYS had someone to bail her out, right? So, (in her mind) why would this time be any different? Burns your hide, right?
And second, coming in late the night before, she probably didn't want to wake anyone and get 'yelled' at either and as all of us as young adults do... we think we are in control of our lives and therefore don't feel that we should 'answer' to anyone who question us. We don't 'have' to answer to them... etc. This is the brain of a young out of control adult who really doesn't have a grip on reality. Her thinking is that... well I left a note!!! What's the big deal?
But, as her selfishness irritates the rest of us selfless adults, this is where the continuous power struggle comes in. It's pretty clear that the reasons she 'left a note' was because she KNEW that she would 'get into trouble' and she needed to be bailed out, so she used a sly tactic to do so. The only recourse you have is to take action because it's a child, not a pet who can take care of itself. So, what that tells me is that she is learning to use her own child and manipulate situations for her own best interest... great, huh?
You have every right to be upset with this. I certainly would be too. The only thing that will get her attention is some hard hitting facts of life, and that's not going to happen while she's living at your home where she knows she can be bailed out at any given time. I feel your frustrations, I certainly do...
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
I realize that she thought she was being considerate
DH pointed that out to me, too. I did just decide to go out for a while after he got up. She asked him, "Did marika leave?" He said yes because I was tired of all the BS and she told him she didn't know that anything bad had happened that morning. Sigh.
When I got back, he was downstairs and I started some laundry, including a load of my dress clothes that she had just dumped into a basket after taking them out of the dryer. I told DH that I had told her that anything I washed that wasn't towels had to be hung up out of the dryer so I wouldn't have to iron it. (She did a load right as I finished one, so she took the last load out of the dryer). I told him that it was just one more example of how little she respected me. He said that was between her and me. I just sighed and said I wasn't going to worry about it; it would be over soon. He muttered something about how wonderful it was that we liked each other. I just ignored that. What does he expect? He has had his head up his ass about the two of us since she moved in. The plain simple fact is that she neither likes me nor respects me and the feeling is mutual. I have tried and tried to help her and I just get treated like dirt.
Sorry to vent again, but it is either this or a bottle of Bailey's and I have to get some work done!!
marika