Just wondering how blended families out there deal with bio-kids and skids dating?
Hi everyone.
My BS20 went home to his dad for a holiday a few months back and fell in love with his soon-to-be new stepsister. BD has been married 6 times previously and was about to get engaged with this woman with twin 16 yo daughters. BS20 stayd in the home with all of them for about 2 months, then returned home to us announcing he was moving back to his hometown (800 km's away) to start his own business with his dad as main investor. We were shocked and I was heartbroken because we had helped him to build up a teaching career for himself in our music school and he was doing well. He was also living with us, but was about to launch into his teaching career with 26 students. I knew immediately it was a girl involved and only when I prodded, he told me that he had met this girl. I told him it was wrong and that he would pick up a lot of trouble with his dad and new step-mom. He said that he had confronted his dad about it and his dad had said it would be fine. Now he has moved back to his hometown (his dad had offered for him to stay in the home with him & SM until the end of the year - gf is in boarding school) and his dad has said he must find somewhere else to stay because this is interfering with his relationship with SM. By the way marriage #7 takes place today & BS20 is the bestman. He has been met with antagonism & hatred from SM's family and he phoned me last night in tears, saying how he missed me and was sorry that he had never told me enough that he loved me. My FH just wants him to come home and skip the wedding, but I brought him up to see his commitments through to the end and not to buck out of your promises. I was so tempted to say 'told you so' but resisted. Does one just demonstrate tough love in this situation & let him work it out for himself? I feel for him, but he made his bed. etc etc. Now he sits with no job and no place to stay.
My question is...how does everyone else out there deal with s-kids & b-kids dating? I know it's wrong...but like he says, he didn't know he would fall in love with her...
Bkids and Skids dating....
Bkids and Skids dating.... even though not related, I still hear dueling banjo's and see trailor parks in my head, it has a very high *yuck* factor. He's 20, she's 16? I don't know where you live but where I live we have a saying...."16 will get you 20" It can be considered statutory rape here.
He sounds like a good kid, it sounds as if you have raised him well, I think their hormones just get the better of them sometimes. From what you've said, SM is very aware of what's going on and sounds as if she'll make him uncomfortable enough that he'll be coming home to you soon. (See SM's aren't bad after all......)
We were concerned about that
We were concerned about that with my stepson and biological daughter. When we were non-custodial, they had huge crushes on each other. We caught them kissing once. EWWW!
When we got custody of my stepkids, DH and I were totally freaked out! How the hell were we going to handle it?
It took care of itself in our case. I think once they started living in the same house every single day, they started seeing each other less as "steps" and more as just brother and sister.