Are we wrong to do this?
Ok...My fiance's stepkids are 16 and 14 and they live with us and visit their mother. She doesn't pay child support and she does NOW work and also gets alimony. My question is about six months ago we asked her to contribute to driving school and she stated that she was advised via a letter that her attorney advised not to do so because she doesn't have to and it would help reduce our insurance and would not benefit her..okay whatever. She does not buy any school supplies or lets just say nothing at all.
Now the older future stepchild will have a class trip that requires a deposit and then the final payment. It is over $300.00 and I told my finance that we should ask her to contribute and he said she won't but I said just let her put it in writing again declining to help with her kids. Would you do this or just leave it alone? I thought when the kids get older we could save all the letters (there are many more) that she can't help with them at all. Would could we say in the letter to really get her good?
Thanks
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why doesn't she have to pay
why doesn't she have to pay child support if kids are with you? I would definately be asking her to pitch in something!
Is this a custody arrangement
Is this a custody arrangement through the courts or an agreement between the parents? Is your fiance paying her alimony or is this from another marriage?
I would petition the court for CS. She could agree to anything but if she renigged, you would have little legal recourse.
She didn't work when they
She didn't work when they were married and she didn't have a job at the time they were going through the divorce due to substance abuse. But now she is working and doesn't pay for anything and even borrows money from the kids.
In that case, I would
In that case, I would definitely suggest that your fiance petitions the court for a modification in alimony as well as for a support agreement, according to your states' guidelines.
With a legal order in place, if she doesn't pay, she's held accountable by the courts.
We keep everything (receipts,
We keep everything (receipts, bills pertaining to SS15, etc.) and put everything in writing. I mean EVERYTHING! You just never know when you might need it
I agree. Definitely for the
I agree. Definitely for the courts but not for the kids' eyes. We keep everything just in case it is needed in court. SS15 hasn't a clue of what we keep track of. He is starting to figure out things on his own without us saying a word.
The letters that she writes
The letters that she writes to us which makes no sense at all is for my benefit to use if we have to go to the Court. Everytime something comes up we should advise her so she could advise us in writing that she can't do. I realize the kids see things on their own, I never and would never say anything about their mother or try to rub it in their face what she doesn't pay for... no way. They see things on their own. I would never show them anything. Their mother tried to say in the past that she wishes she would have known about it (which she did and we sent her a letter with info), she would have contributed that it whats she told her kids, so If it ever came up from their mother that we never asked her to contribute as it was said it in the past from her to her kids, we have the proof in a letter.