I hope someone out there can help me....I am at wits end! Here's my story....I have been with my common-law husband (who is a single child) for 8+ years now. He has 1 biological daughter (15) and a son (13, who is not biologically his) that he is raising as his own. They are with us every weekend. I do not have any children of my own but have assisted in raising many of my friends children and have been told many times what a wonderful mother I would have made. My problem is my husband has taken away all of my power as a SM by interveining when I am trying to correct the children. Now my SD just walks all over me. My husband has been working out of town recently so I am expected to pick the children up and take them home. My SD seems to think that I am some sort of taxi for her and will drive all over to pick her up whereever she may be. We live out in the country and it's a 45 min drive just to get to where she lives, that doesn't include the extra driving when she wants to go to out with her friends or have us pick her up there. Problem is, she used to be such a sweet girl and now she's turned into some sort of monster!!! She is rude and disrespectful to me and uses her father against me. She has him completely wrapped around her little finger and plays him like a fiddle. He suggested that the 3 of us try to work it out and now he seems to think that he can be a meadiator for the situation. How can he be objective???? Will he not have to choose sides between his daughter and his wife??? This has now become a real problem.
The other problem is with my SS. My husband treats him totally different than he does his bio-daughter. He is extremely hard on him and I think it's because his ex had a child by someone else in which he manned up and said he would raise as his own. He is resentful to his ex and takes it out on the boy. He doesn't see it but everyone else does. My SD is aware of it and uses it to her advantage. My SS is expected to do extra chores around the house but SD is asked to do NOTHING!!!! She comes here and it's like she's gone to a hotel for the weekend. Does nothing and waits to be called for her meals and complains when she's hungry and dinner isn't ready. I love my husband very much and I am not saying that my SD is a bad kid. She's, by the most part, a great kid but a little bit too manipulative. She is beautiful, has great grades and has amazing aspriations for herself. I am very proud of her accomplishments. She is just so into herself right now and it's driving me crazy!!!! Can someone out there PLEASE give me some advice!!!!