This is only my second post. I guess out of desperattion, i have decided to write another...
My husband and I are getting divorced. I am moving out today to stay with my friend. I have nothing to take with me. No car, no bed, no love. I will have to make a crappy commute to and from work each day. I took the day off today because I couldn't force myself to get up and pretend that I am okay, like I usually do. I am torn into fragments and the shunning I have received from him has made it quite clear that this is not salvagable. In the beginning he was the one that put me on a pedastal and loved me to no end, now although he has done nothing to correct our mistakes, I am the one trying to make it better. But there is no hope for us since he does not respect me and like me. According to his words. BM and SS were the very reason why I became a raging bitch. I was never heard. They wanted me to love, support and look after their child, but I got nothing in return. Not even something from DH. Nothing for our future although I expressed it many times. The Stepparent Bill of Rights(if you are familiar with it) were completely thrown out the window and I was never granted anything. Financially we struggle every month for the last 2 years because we pay everything for SS. Our future together has been put on hold time and time again. After all the abuse I was given, I gave it back with anger and verbal abuse. I am not proud of who I have become. But for gods sake, is there no such thing as true love anymore? Because taht is truly what we though we had, just one year ago. In 12 days I will be celebrating my year marriage with a bottle of Jack most likely instead of eating our topper cake and making love into the morning. Even with all the hurtful things he has said now, through all the tears he has cried, I still ove him completely and I can't stop that feeling. I am getting so angry all over again because I CANNOT believe or accept that he does not feel the same. If he would just open up and communicate with me. He never did about anything, but that is probably because he doesn't even like me and married me regardless of that fact. Which makes me more sad and hurt that he put us both through that knowing all these things. Life will never be the same for me. Regardless of what has been done, said and the love I have for him. He is a good and decent man and any woman should be so proud to have him. Guess I was never the one, but told I was.

Crushed
Pathetic
Lonely
Agony