Chapter 4. So here we are stuck in this kind of hell. No one should live under these conditions. SS1 was supposed to go back to BM full time last summer, SS1 raised such a fuss that DH let him stay. I almost left DH then, but damn it, I really love this guy and I know he loves me to.

My conditions on staying were that a) DH needed to get SS1 into a psychiatrist since this is obviously NOT normal behavior or b) That he go to some type of outward bound program or c)That he go back to his mother. *when I say psychiatrist I mean someone that will medicate him. We’ve been through 3 different therapists, SS1 is such a good liar and manipulator that he’s twisted all 3 into believing that we all abuse HIM, this would include his little brother.

Well a year has passed…none of these things have happened, SS1 has gotten worse, he was suspended 4 times last year for aggressive behavior and for outright refusing to do as the teacher told him. So it’s not just SS2 and me that he targets anymore. He is now taller and heavier than I am, and frankly I am afraid of him. I tried to explain to SS1 that he was a role model for SS2, that he needed to step up and fly straight. This was a huge mistake….and I usually am so careful what I say to SS1, because if it’s going to cause problems, he’s going to do it. So…now he no longer bashes SS2 on the back of the head, he’s taught SS2 how bash other kids on the back of the head, SS2 goes along with it because as long as he’s bad SS1 will let him hang out w/him, there is not better lure for a little brother. I know where he’s coming from, here is the brother that wanted him dead, and now he believes in that little heart that has always wanted his brother love him that his brother will love him if he’s bad. At 9, I might go for it to, I can’t say I blame him. I guess it beats getting bashed on the back of the head. On the other hand there is no way I or DH can salvage SS2 before it’s to late with SS1 in the house.

So….DH is at MIL’s w/kids because he was supposed to leave SS1 w/BM. He didn’t and he didn’t do any of the other things that he promised. I kept telling him, ‘If you don’t parent these children, it will come back and bite you in the butt.’ He’s actually afraid to come home, and I’m not sure I blame him, I mean has he left me a choice? If he brings SS1 back into this house, and I don’t leave then this’ll be twice I’ve made the threat and not followed through. I know his back is against the wall but darn it, he’s let me live in hell while he hid at work, and let’s just suppose that somewhere in that cold black little heart of SS1 that there was something that DH could have done and didn’t.

So…now MY back is up against the wall. HMM…..I guess I’m moving?

Somewhere on this forum I saw someone write “Annoying I can handle, what I find intolerable is outright manipulative, disrespectful, spiteful, intentional and aggressive behavior” I’m going to post it on my refrigerator