i feel like DH's mother, too
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since SS4's mother is hardly in the picture, i have accidentally taken the full mother role for him. oh well. i let it happen. i deal. but for awhile now, i feel like DH's mother, too. and the AWESOME part is: he lets it happen. i go to school full time, run the house, and raise his child and sure, he thanks me, but i did not sign up for this! if it's not one thing, it's another...and it's never anything about me. what happened to ME mattering in my life?! i've brought it up a couple of times and it gets his full attention and he promises to make some changes...and then i'm right back where i was a week ago. i can't do it anymore.
i'm 23! i can't raise a 4YO and 24YO!
Although my DH sometimes
Although my DH sometimes seems like another child, he does have the utmost respect for me and when an issue needs addressing, he can "man up".
It sounds like you're giving DH a free ride and he's taking advantage of it. Are you having good conversations when you approach the problems with him or are you just ranting at him? If you don't start with good, solid communication skills between the two of you, you'll have a really tough time getting this problem solved. Do you feel that you and DH were ever equal partners? Or has he always relied on you?
One of the best lessons I ever learned was from Wayne Dyer, who taught me that people will treat me however I allow them to treat me. It's a good lesson and one that applies to every relationship you have.