DH and I went to our therapy session yesterday morning. As expected, SD21 didn't show up.

We spent our hour discussing the situation. The therapy sessions (4 total) were helpful in allowing us to talk about our frustrations, but not very helpful int he way of feedback from the therapist, so we've decided that yesterday was going to be our last day.

SD wants no part in discussing anything or working through her issues. That's fine. As far as we're concerned, the offer has been made and the ball is now in her court. Until she steps up and decides to remedy things, she's pretty much on her own.

DH (again) did most of the talking. I listened intently to what he was saying, and I think we figured this out on our own. SD, although hesitant at first, was fine with coming to our session to talk things out. However, after the weekend, she told DH that she wasn't going to be joining us. Said it was at her own therapists recommendation. SD seems to have forgotten that she is on our insurance and if she was seeing a therapist, we would see the EOB on our insurance web site. Nothing is showing up. So, we figure this is just an excuse for her to bow-out. So DH and I were talking and we figured out that the only thing that has happened between Friday and Tuesday was her 8 hour drive one-way (16 hours total) over the weekend with her BM. That's a LOT of time to talk, and we figure they were discussing us for probably half of the trip. DH and I came to the conclusion that it's BM who is telling her things like: "dont' go to the therapy session" or "your father moved on, he doesn't want you anymore" blah blah blah. There's no other explanation.

I suggested that if DH really wants to mend fences, he should meet somewhere with SD and BM and get them both face to face and explain to them that he isn't cutting SD out of his life, and that BM needs to stop brainwashing SD. I don't know if it will happen, but that's really the only option left. Either that or leave SD alone and when she's ready to talk with him again, she'll call.

While I was listening to DH talk about his relationship with SD, I actually began to CRY! It's a downright shame how she's treated DH all her life. And the way she's treating him now is out of line. He told the therapist that he has heard me talk about SD and how she treats him, and when he hears it he gets upset and defensive, but that after he thinks about what I say, he actually agrees with what I've said. That's good and bad. Good that he 'gets it' and sees that she's completely disrespectful and uses him as her peronal banker, but bad for the same reasons. Nobody should see their kids in that way. But it's just how she is. I think he always knew it, but finally decided to accept it knowing that he can't change her behavior.

So as of now, we've decided to just move ahead with our lives. SD will have to come to him if she wants to make amends. As far as me, I couldn't really care less. She's been rude to me since I met her, so that's really all I've ever known of her. I don't need someone like that in my life. I just wish she wouldn't hurt DH the way she does.