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She never stops with the controlling behaviour

PoisonApples's picture

So we had this long drawn out drama over getting passports to take the skids to France in August. BM refused to sign, we ended up in court where she HAD to sign for them. She got the judge to agree that while we are in France for this first trip abroad she can call the skids before 9:00 AM Paris time EVERY day with the stipulation that she not mention their emotions or her emotions (this is because she always calls whining about how much she misses them and how unhappy she is, asking them why they don't miss her, etc).

Anyway, the trip is in August. During the rest of the holidays she has court ordered telephone access at 10:00 AM every second day.

We picked them up for 2 weeks access yesterday at 10:00 AM. She started calling at 7:00 this morning. The first time bf was ignoring the call and I, like the idiot I am, said 'maybe there's something wrong, you'd better answer it'. She wanted to talk to the kids. BF told her she can call at 10. She said 'I can call at 7 or 8 or 9 or 10'. BF told her to call at 10 and hung up.

Either she is as dumb as a box of rocks or she pretends to be dumb and not understand the court order.

Last year she forgot to call at her first court appointed time so she started calling that evening. We wouldn't answer. Then she called my phone and I spoke to her, told her the kids were in bed and that she could call at the next court appointed time. A couple of hours later the police showed up to do a 'welfare check' on them because she told them she couldn't reach them and thought they weren't safe. Funny she didn't ask me how they were when we spoke and didn't bother to text to ask how they were.

As usual NOTHING she does is really out of worry for the kids, it's all about disrupting us and being in our face all the time.

Now when we go on our holiday to France we are going to have to start every day bright and early with a phone call from her. Uhgg! The kids hate it too. You should see the irritated looks on their faces when she calls. SD7 has said things like 'Why does she have to bother us all the time?'. When she calls they try to get off the phone and she won't let them. SD7 ends up lying to her to get away.

Looks like this 2 week holiday period is off to a good start. She'll call every morning at 7:00. I think we'll just turn off the phones.

Comments

stepoff's picture

Do you and your DH have cell phones? If so, this is what I would do: put the cell phone on speaker. That way, she can talk to the kids but you and your DH can hear the conversations. If she gets all emotional, "I miss you, do you miss me?" kind of crap, you'll be able to cut her off and change the subject. Sounds like she's into emotional blackmail or something.

PS. If she wants to talk with her kids that badly, she wouldn't miss her court-appointed call times. I'm all for parents keeping in touch with their kids, but it sounds as if BM is over the top with wanting to keep in touch every.single.moment. and for some reason, wants them to feel bad for her. Ugh.

PoisonApples's picture

I know! She cried and went on about how it would 'set her mind at ease' to talk to them every day.

The judge didn't set a duration for the calls anyway so we don't have to let her keep them on for 20 minutes. I'm thinking a quick 'hello, I'm fine' and hang up will be sufficient.