Abusive Ex-Wife
I am writing to see if anyone has some advice on how to deal with an abusive ex-wife. My husband and I have been together for a year. He has primary custody of their two boys, I have a daughter from a previous relationship and my husband and I are expecting another baby in a few months. The ex-wife and my husband were married for 17 years and she was cheating on him with numerous people and finally left my husband and their boys, ages 7 and 11, for another man who she still lives with. However, she belittles and insults my husband every single time he has to deal with her to make visitation arrangements for the boys. Everytime he picks them up or drops them off, she does something abusive. She flipped out on my husband and screamed at him when she found out that we were expecting a child. She insults me to him and freaks out on him if she finds out really trivially things about our relationship. For example, my husband's father gave me a cell phone so I would be in their network and the ex yelled at my husband about it. It's totally insane. My husband is a very nice man and is totally taken off gaurd every time she is abusive to him. I don't know what to do about her. She calls his work, she calls his cell phone, she emails him. I finally told him to tell her that she was making too many unnecessary contacts that had nothing to do with the kids and she has stopped calling as much. She left my husband and their kids, she was cheating on him and yet she treats him like she's jealous. She stresses my husband out and stresses me out. Any adivice on how to deal? Thank you.
So put your foot down..
Blow your top with this lady. First of all if it were me in your shoes.. As his wife you are entitled to put your foot down. I wouldn't care if they had kids together or not. She forfeited her rights to control him when she walked out the door on him and there children. I would simply call her and tell her that you will not tolerate this. Better yet have him call her and tell her when she can act like an adult then they can talk. As far as her rants let her talk and walk away. If she gets physical, report her. She is unfit in my opinion. There is noway I would allow my husband to be treated this way. But he has to step up and tell her too..
Happy
" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..
He needs to speak to her
STBX's baby mama used to do this kind of thing too. She cheated on him multiple times, yet she was clearly unable to deal with the fact that he had moved on with me. She would call our house and accuse him of wanting her back, say terrible things about me, even e-mail me with "info" on my husband to try and get to me. She would also treat DH like a babysitter and scold him from exercising his parental rights without asking her permission. For a while, DH just told me to let it go, not to get upset...but I really couldn't do that. This went on for months and finally I had to tell him that if he didn't stand up to her, I was gone. He did. And she was SHOCKED. While her behavior is still nutty as hell, she DID stop some of the personal attacks. Most of them, actually. He simply took the phone from SS when she called to say goodnight and told her that she would not talk to her son until first she heard some things. She was a total bitch to him, but afterwards she started to stop the behavior.
The bottom line is that if he doesn't put a stop to it, she will only pull more and more shit out of her hat until it's totally out of hand. Maybe DH can kind of blow it off, but clearly it upsets you and as your husband, he should try and take care of this situation because at the very least, it's the right thing to do by you.
Good luck!