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Are you serious? Apparently, I'M the enemy

blendedandbeautiful's picture

I have recently come to the conclusion that I need to take my 2 small children (DD2 and DS2mo) and leave my house when my SD5 comes over.

The reason I feel this way is because I have observed my SD5 bullying my DD2 when she comes over for her EOW visits. I have brought this to my DHs attention, and he refuses to do anything about it.

In order to not clog up the public forum, I will post in depth about my issues in a blog posting. Any comments would certainly be welcome there, also!

Here is the question I would like to pose : Is it wrong for me to take off during the day when my SD5 is around? Run errands, visit family, etc., just so my DD doesn't have to be subjected to torture when she's around.

stepmasochist's picture

I don't think it's wrong that you do it. I think it's wrong that you should have to.

I'm sure SD5 is just jealous. I understand your DH doesn't do anything about it, but can you? If your husband won't back you up on disiplining the child then maybe their visits should occur somewhere besides your home.

DD10's picture

When our kids were younger,the skids would ALWAYS pick on DD.DH would just turn his head and then i started finding 'things' to do when the skids were around.Dh finally got tired of not having me around and began correcting the skids properly. it took a while though but he eventually came around to see the bullying for what it was.i see nothing wrong with skipping out when skids are around if they treat your children badly.what other choice do you have really if Dh won't say a word about it?is correcting them yourself out of the question?

blendedandbeautiful's picture

During a recent visit, I noticed some bullying, and told SD5 she should try to be a better example to her little sister. My DH got a call from BM at work about how SD always gets in trouble because of DD2. She was not in any trouble! I calmly encouraged her to teach her sister how to be kind, and I get told on? And because my DH refuses to correct the problem, she is allowed to get away with it. So, yes, correcting the behavior myself is not allowed.

DD10's picture

well that certainly makes it harder for you doesn't it?im' really sorry:( since he can't be ok with you doing the corrections i think you should definitely find fun things to do for just you and your children when the skids are around.they need to learn that mean behavior doesn't get rewarded.

I am confused's picture

I think it's time you tell DH, "Hey, this is either OUR house or it isn't. I'm not going to sit around and watch our two little ones get bullied by SD5, and if you are wiling to let it happen and not back me on this, then you're telling me this isn't my home, and it isn't our kids' home, and if that's the case we aren't just leaving for the weekend, we're just plain leaving."

Pantera's picture

By you doing that, you are splitting up the family. It will never work if you do this. DH needs to step up and be a parent. You need to tell him how you feel and he needs to start disciplining his child. I will say that all brothers and sisters fight and pick at each other, but there are boundaries.

drivinmecrazy25's picture

I did the same at first even let them do their own thing but that was exactly what my sd wanted. Then it caused other problems. Like wanting him to herself. It will continue until dad steps up and stops feeling guilty. Then you can enjoy your home again when she visits. You have to be a team and a family all the time. Wink