The court situation is taking longer than expected. Here's an update:

My stepdaughter (SD) is now 18 and lives with her boyfriend, baby, cat, and XL Bully dog in a house rented in her mother's name.  While BM officially moved out in September 2023, but she had already moved an hour away to live with her own boyfriend in the summer. Last October, my husband filed a Motion to Stop Child Support payments and hired an attorney. In Massachusetts, child support doesn't automatically end at 18; it can continue until the child is 21 if they are "in need" and meet specific conditions.

SD and her boyfriend both work full-time, coordinating their schedules to care for their baby, and they have a relative helping when needed. My SD's mother (BM) claimed she spends around $5k a month supporting her daughter.

So far, there has been a Pathways meeting and a mediation session to reach an agreement before trial. BM did not attend, only her attorney, who seemed surprised by the actual situation, which differed from BM's account. During the meeting, the cost of SD's hairdressing school ($22k) came up. My husband offered to end child support and pay half the school cost, crediting payments made since October. We later learned from SD that her school loans and financial aid were in her name because she was pregnant when she started school. BM rejected the offer because she would have needed to prove she was paying $1500 monthly towards the loan, which she couldn't do.

We've now sent a Motion to Temporarily Suspend Child Support along with Document Requests and Interrogatories. BM's attorney responded with standard, non-customized questions. Gathering the necessary financial documentation took us 10 hours, but we were thorough thanks to my husband's excellent record-keeping. We also subpoenaed SD's school and work records to counter BM's claim that SD is a full-time student.

Recently, BM's lawyer claimed that SD is "in need" due to mental health issues. While SD has depression and anxiety, she manages her life well, holding a job at McDonald's for almost three years and maintaining a healthy relationship with her baby's father and her family. She stopped therapy and medication at the end of 2022 and has been doing fine. We doubt the accuracy of her bipolar diagnosis at 15 because that is too young for such an official DX. Her mental health is not in any way in her way of being an adult. 

If BM's claims win over the judge, we could argue that BM should move back in with SD if she is indeed mentally unstable and in need of support. It's unclear if SD knows her mother plans to declare her mentally unstable in court but this could have its own ramifications. 

We are currently in the Discovery phase before trial. BM will do everything to keep my husband paying child support until SD is 21, despite SD not meeting the criteria. We expect BM to become more unhinged once she sees we plan to subpoena SD and her boyfriend. Interestingly, the document request asks for all communications between my husband and BM, whose erratic messages will likely undermine her credibility.

We hope no sensible judge will force my husband to continue supporting SD and her boyfriend in their own house. We have our own financial concerns, and it's unreasonable for my husband to use an entire paycheck each month to support an adult.

But at the end of the day: These three prongs for emancipation are all being met. 

• She is not domiciled in the home of her mother, the custodial parent, AND is financially dependent on her. 
• She is not a full-time student who only lives away from the custodial parent during the school year AND is dependent upon her BM for support
• Permanent Residence is not with her mother. 

I hope this follows the law and doesn't get messy, but with BM steering this ship, it will get messy and expensive.