I've been trying to learn how to be a better parent for my toddlers as I feel I could have done better for sd and want to not repeat the same mistakes. In that quest I listen to a few parenting podcasts and today I listened to this episode that could be validating for some step parents and enlightening for those of our partners that are willing to learn. 
 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-inside-with-dr-becky/id156168...

...Surprise surprise sometimes kids shouldn't get what they want and sometimes they need to do stuff they don't want to! (I do recommend listening, the podcast is a more nuanced than just that message).