Well the new year is off to fine freaking start. DH and I went on vacation before Christmas only to have our bank account compromised and our funds depleted.  Investigation is on and hopefully the funds get credited back to us in the next 7 days or so.  Following that lovely incident, DH got a call from his lawyer a few days before Christmas stating that BM is still going after him for retroactive support (see previous posts in another forum).  SD17 didn't bother to show up for Christmas dinner with her step siblings and baby nephew.  DH had taken her to get her first tattoo as our Christmas gift to her (even though I felt she didn't deserve it, but I digress).  She lied to DH - saying that she has been going to school - but we know she isn't because DH gets absentee alerts from the school everyday.  He chose not to call her out on it though - trying to keep the peace I guess.  DH asked if she was still coming over for Christmas dinner and she confirmed.  Christmas day comes, her step siblings (older than her, one married) are over, opening giftst, dinner is getting ready.  No sign of SD17.  DH reaches out to her a number of times via text and phone, step siblings reach out to her.  No answer.  I even reached out to her politely letting her know what time dinner was at.  A half hour before dinner, she texts DH stating that she just woke up and that she couldn't make it because BM needed help with her Christmas dinner.  First, BM has never held a Christmas dinner in almost 10 years.  But this year she did - I can't help feeling like she did it deliberately.  After all she did threaten to ruin DH's life when he cut off communications with her due to her constant bullying and harrassment over the past year especially. I also think that SD17 already knew she wasn't coming to our place for Christmas when DH asked her the week before but didn't have the guts to tell him otherwise.  

So the end of the year ended on a low note.  We had really hoped it would end on a higher note considering that 2023 started tragically with the death of SS22 due to an overdose.  

BM became more hostile than usual - gave her grace for a little while but when she started to harrass and bully DH over things that had nothing to do with SD or even SS, DH put his foot down and stopped communicating with her.  She then lost her roommate (cash rent) and decided to go after DH for more money since she doesn't work (got a doctor to sign a disability form).  DH's lawyer didn't seem to have the fight in him (he's past his prime for lack of a better word) and DH decided to get a second opinion.

We retained a new lawyer and unfortunately even with a new lawyer, because there is a presumptive law regarding retroactive support (even though DH never missed a payment - see previous posts), if we were to go to court, DH was advised that a judge would side with BM.  Even though we all know the support doesn't go to SS17 (18 in september).  Therefore we have to cough up $10K in retroactive support in a lump sum, contingent on:  BM drops her demand for legal fees to be paid by DH; that she cannot come back demanding any additional support; that when SS17 turns 18 in September support will stop unless she is enrolled in a full time education program (which she won't - she is only in school part time now and doesn't bother to go to school on a regular basis).  However, I can see BM forcing SS to enroll in school in September (even though won't go).  Our hope is that this will end the madness we've endured for almost 10 years.  That's the glass half full part of me.  The glass half empty part of me feels that it will never be over with this woman due to her clear unhappiness with the world, her bitterness towards DH and I's life together and more than anything her narcassistic ways.