Concerning response from DH regarding SS15 and Discipline
DH has ALWAYS been a guilt driven Disney dad. DH will Deny it but it's true. SS15 has ALWAYS been a Manipulating spoiled ROTTEN brat. SS15 basically calls the shots at both household's. Has no chores, refuses to follow any rules unless he wants to and VERY rude. BM is basically afraid of SS15 and makes excuses why she does not Discipline him.
I've said a number of times to DH why he allows SS15 to be such a ass at our house and DH always had some lame stuff excuse.
NOW this past week I stood my ground and asked why SS15 is allowed to be a Disrespectful brat at our home. DH words were if " he Disciplined SS15 DH knows SS15 would flip his shit, start smashing things and DH would be forced to throw SS15 out". Honestly out of all the bull crap excuses DH has told me I think this is dead on why DH does not Discipline SS15.
Thoughts on what DH said??
Forced to throw SS15 out?
Forced to throw SS15 out? Parents don't get to throw minor children out. Rather than assuming what SS will do, your DH needs to discipline and then deal with SS's reaction if it needs to be dealt with. Throwing the kid out is not how to deal with it, nor is doing nothing. It may involve the police or the psych ward, but that's better when SS is a minor than when he's an adult.
Does he just expect things to
Does he just expect things to get better one day by doing nothing?
Also saying he would have to throw him out is a lame answer too. He's making the only options to do nothing or kick him out. Does he not realize there is a middle way called discipline and accountability? You know? Actually parenting. Ah but that would take actual work.
I'm sure if SS threw a huge fit like that over anything, and be sure one day he will if this just continues, he's not getting kicked out. It's all empty threats.
It's the classic "I won't put
It's the classic "I won't put MY child out on the STREET!!" so I will be a crap lazy parent and let them get away with murder.
"It's the classic "I won't
"It's the classic "I won't put MY child out on the STREET!!" so I will be a crap lazy parent and let them get away with murder."
100% correct!
How nice if DH to leave it to
How nice if DH to leave it to you to call the cops on the boy if he flips. Instead of showing his son how men behave, he cops out in fear of losing his son to his mother and her easy lifestyle. Put your foot down that any and all chores the SS should do are his responsibility. Do not lift one finger for anything that benefits SS. Make it clear at 18 SS is not allowed to live with you anymore.
OP, do you think your DuH
OP, do you think your DuH realizes what kind of a life he is setting his son up for? A kid who has had everything handed to hime and who has always ruled the roost is never going to get a decent job and won't be able to hold down any job he manages to land. And all because his parents didn't do their job right.
Honestly I’m not sure what DH is thinking
Possibly DH is Thinking this is something that SS will grow out off. I'm thinking not. What I see happening once SS turns 18 and can't hide under the protection of mommy and daddy he will end up facing the hard facts of being a adult delinquent
My point exactly.
My point exactly.
Winterglow, 100% correct! My
Winterglow, 100% correct! My ex SS was this way - coddled, given everything he wanted, no rules, no nothing. It was all about making him happy. And my ex SS basically refused to work, then only committed to 8-10 hrs/week when he did get a job. And all this is a direct result of my ex's sh&tty parenting.
He is setting the kid up for failure
Dont let him get away with this. Disengage. And tell DH its for his own good that he parents SS.
Plus point out that he can call cops but cannot throw out a minor.
The fact he says ss would start getting violent
In smashing things and that he would have to kick his kid out and doesn't see how selfish it is of him to make you endure this kind of toxicity and unhealthy environment at home says it all
You can't outgrow a bad
You can't outgrow a bad parenting style.
The words of a ball-less coward.
He needs to discipline then when SS-15 vandalizes the home YOU call the police and have this POS failed family ill parented breeding experiment marched off in handcuffs to have a nice talk with the Judge.
Then it is pretty much out of idiot DH's hands.
If DH won't discipline him, you do it. Then call the police when he freaks out.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
If he does not catch a clue by the time he turns 18, he will carry the record of his shit choices for life.
As he should.
You should feel safe in your
You should feel safe in your own home, if he makes you feel threatened, call the police. Dad might not want to control him but you can by eliminating him from the picture. Act like a criminal, get treated like a criminal. You should always feel safe in your home.