This Friday will be SD's first time here this summer!
correction, SD was here half of saturday (we got home from the cruise, unpacked, DH went and picked SD up) and half of father's day (because she spends half of it with her stepdad). So aside from that little bit of time she was here, THIS will be her first time here this summer with any substantial time here. IF she can last a few weeks she'll be able to go on the cruise with DH at the end of July. Do I actually think she'll make it to the end of summer? I give her a 50% chance of making it. She is honestly a HORRIBLE person, she has no friends. She always went through friends faster than she changed her underwear (which isn't saying much). It seemed as if she had new BFFFLs (she called them best friends for ever for life) every year they changed... the longest friend she had was this girl she is no longer friends with as of this year, that was probably 3 years... she sees a popular person, FORCES a friendship with them, SEPARATES them from their other friends, and then when she sees someone MORE popular, she dumps that friend for these new friends and FORCES a friendship with them...this time, problem was, they didn't really want to be her BFFFL, and when she accepted (what she thought was) and apology from her former friend, they told her that after all the HORRIBLE things she had done to her, how she could just easily accept the apology from her. problem was is it wasn't an apology (which BTW SD is not owed an apology). Now these kids see SD as wishy washy (true), a liar because they found out SD was making up stories about this girl (bare minimum she was manipulating the facts), a back stabber for talking smack about her longest running BFFL. Now these new friends don't want anything to do with SD, her exBFFFL wants nothing to do with her, and now most literally the only people that like SD are her mom and step dad... DH loves her but does not like her, I don't like her, my kids don't like her, but they are back to being NICE to her... even though she has still YET to apologize for her ATTROCIOUS behavior toward them. They are too kind and take too much s#!t from her. Luckily ONE of them are going away for college (I will miss them dearly). The other I have instructed to go to work AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE to stay even if she has to pick up extra shifts. just when SD here try to work all day so they don't have to see them.
The bully solution is to inflict more pain on them than they can
stand.
I learned this as a bully target in my pre and early to mid teens. Once I came to the conclusion that being picked on hurts, I decided that the bully would hurt too.
That nipped any bullying in the bud in a hurry. Even when I changed schools frequently due to family moves (I attended 3 Jr. Highs and two HSs). The engrained structure would test the new kid. The bully(ies) who made that mistake bled, hurt, required medical attention, and several were suspended. I never was disciplined for standing up to bullies. The Principal would send for me, ask me what happened, I told the SOE, others concurred, no issues for me. Lots of issues for the bully(ies). This had the added benefit of very quickly raising my stock in the social structure arena. At a school I had attended for a year or more, or one I had just started at.
Regardless of if the bully is family or not, they are fixed by hurting. Particularly when the one doing the hurting is their bullying target. This applies to physical bullies, or verbal bullies.
Tell your kids to shred the toxic bullying SD.
I would. Make sure DH is clear that there will be no consequence for a kid shredding a bully. Physically, verbally, or both.
I have told my kids this,
I have told my kids this, maybe not the actual bullying her part, but I told them they do NOT have to be nice to her. I have told them that time and time again, SD has been HORRID to them, that they owe her no kindness. They are TOO kind, patient, and forgiving (even when no apology has been given), and I am afraid that they will be hurt again. They are adults now at this point, and it's up to them to decide what they ultimetly do. Like I said I am GLAD that one of them will be going away to college, and the other is already working full time, she can (if she wants) pick up extra shifts, or drive to a friends and hang out there, just do what ever she can to stay away from SD. when she's here. SD already hardley visits any more, with her victims being gone, she'll either start turning more on me, or visit even less than she does now.
She sounds a little bit like SD23 Feral Forger
Shes always been a bully and continues to bully those around her. Problem is, some folks are ok with it, or shes JUST CHARMING ENOUGH to keep them around so she can use them. With no drivers license and not really working much, shes really super dependant on others. So that keeps her sort of in line.