STBXH's Drive-By's CONTINUE
Original blog about this:
https://www.steptalk.org/blog/stepultimate/stbxh-doing-drive-bys-272685
Neighb keeps seeing my STBXH drive by, and texts me to let me know (and those are just the times she's seen it). I've been sending screenshots to my divorce attorney just to keep a record. I've also told mutual friends (the non-Flying Monkey type!) and it just happened again today where my neighb saw him.
I've been 100% ghosting him since I originally blocked him on my phone 1st week of February & had my attorney email him a week later advising all communication should go thru my attorney. I have zero Social Media for him to stalk/get info from, and since I WFH f/t my car is almost always in my driveway.
Ugh!
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Comments
Geez, what a creeper. He
Geez, what a creeper. He needs to grow up.
Get a Ring doorbell. It can
Get a Ring doorbell. It can record every drive by.
I LOVE where I live or I'd
I LOVE where I live or I'd move, plus my rent is low since I've been here a long time (since before STBXH came into my life). My neighbs are all aware & on the lookout.
I'll be getting cameras with monitoring/recording service, even though I didn't want to.
Don't let that asshole push
Don't let that asshole push you out of your own neighborhood.
No chance.
No way would I let him do that... unless I didn't love this place. I have great neighbs & it's a zero-crime corner of town. Streng/Eichler home with high ceilings, skylights, and lots of windows. I'm plant-sitting for a friend while her house undergoes a major re-model & her plants are SUPER-happy!
If STBXH wasn't such a hot-head with a major martial arts background & a DV record, I'd rent a 2022 version of his midlife crisis sportscar, park it in my driveway, and put a photoshopped license plate that said "NEW MAN" over the real plates. As funny as that idea is, it's not in line with my Gray Rock/IGNORE discipline, and I don't want to poke the bear.
My friend had a similar idea but with a big F350 with the hanging ballz tow hitch.
Streng/Eichler home with high
Streng/Eichler home with high ceilings, skylights, and lots of windows.
Oh my God, my dream home. I am so jealous.
Love the car idea, but yeah, don't poke the asshole, I mean, bear.
Dream Home
It's my dream home too! Would love to buy a house like this! I'm a major sunlight person, plus I LOVE seeing the moon when it's above the big 6x6' skylight in the big, open living area.
I had the same thought, but
I had the same thought, but yeah... probably not a great idea.
Your STBXH sounds like my dad
Your STBXH sounds like my dad. Neighbours are all aware and keep us in the loop. When confronted he just said he was heading to a friend's house and just happened to pass by. (Pass by multiple times a week during my mother's work hours on a road that goes nowhere since the house is on a cul de sac).
No reason
Yeah, it's lame because there is zero reason to be in my corner of town. 100% residential with no businesses or gas stations or friends for STBXH to visit. He's just got nothing better to do & premium gas is so cheap right now... might as well take another spin to drive by where he doesn't even live anymore.
Neighb let me know last week he drove by twice in a row - like he drove around the block.
It would be nice if he finished up his divorce paperwork & sent that in, but I guess that's the only remaining "control" he has over me. The same guy who complained about how his 2nd ex-wife drug out their divorce for YEARS...
Same pros and cons for moving
Same pros and cons for moving as you. Brilliant house, great location. Bonus of familiarity with surroundings and neighbours. The only pro will be he has no idea where she lives. But that's never 100% guaranteed. Why uproot and turn her life upside down when he might find the next location. Short of blitzing off to an unknown country, there's always a small chance he'll be able to suss out the next address. The little kids that i remember from two decades ago are now fine strapping young lads. They've promised to beat the living daylights out of him if he sets foot on the property and they know exactly what he looks like. That's not something a brand new neighbour would be willing to do for a stranger who's just moved in.
With gas prices, he shouldn't
With gas prices, he shouldn't be able to keep this up for long :-P
Restraining order?
This seems menacing. Maybe ask attorney if it's good enough for a restraining order? Definitely get some kind of security in place and be safe.
Public Street
No cause, plus ROs typically further enrage jerks. Read The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker...
Is there any way you can hide
Is there any way you can hide your car? I wonder if he'd get out and approach the house.
No
Tiny garage storing lots of stuff, plus orig manual garage door from late 60s.
My BIL did that to his ex
My BIL did that to his ex when they had split up. It was absolutely creepy how much he stalked her, even tried to get DH wrapped into doing it with his car and DH told him off. It's the control freak guys that do this.
Move On
The mutual friends have been encouraging STBXH to focus on himself & move on, but there's no telling this guy what to do or how.
Googled & its common
Apparently it's a thing lots of people experience.
/didn't mean to join that club
I just don't understand what
I just don't understand what it accomplishes, in their mind?
That sounds so scary!
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! Please make sure you're safe in any way you can! I don't understand what people like this are thinking, which to me makes the behavior that much scarier because it makes absolutely no sense.
You're moving upward, while
You're moving upward, while he's dog paddling in a circle with one deflated water wing. Love it!!!
Can you get away for a week or two?
Is there someone or somewhere else you could visit for a week or two? Not vacation but WFH at another location. I wonder whether your car being gone for a bit might help to break the cycle of his drive bys.
Too bad
you can't place a giant lawn sign out front with a photo of his car driving by saying "if you see this car, it is stolen"
Not too far from the truth as it probably will be repoed. What's he gonna do? Call the cops? "Officer, my ex wife put a sign out shaming me while I was stalking her."