The Twelve Days of Skidmas

As requested, I'm reviving my Christmas rewrites!

Sung to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas"

On the First day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
An F in American His’try.

On the Second day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Two p!ssy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Third day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Three burnt toast
Two p!ssy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Fourth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Four broken iPhones
Three burnt toast
Two p!ssy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Fifth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Fiiiiive poop-stained skivvies
Four broken iPhones
Three burnt toast
Two p!ssy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Sixth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Six hours of bickering
Fiiiiive poop-stained skivvies
Four broken iPhones
Three burnt toast
Two p!ssy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Seventh day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Fiiiiive poop-stained skivvies
Four broken iPhones
Three burnt toast
Two p!ssy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Eighth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Eight greasy wall stains
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Fiiiiive poop-stained skivvies
Four broken iPhones
Three burnt toast
Two p!ssy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Ninth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Nine empty chip bags
Eight greasy wall stains
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Fiiiiive poop-stained skivvies
Four broken iPhones
Three burnt toast
Two p!ssy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Tenth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Ten “Do I have to’s”
Nine empty chip bags
Eight greasy wall stains
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Fiiiiive poop-stained skivvies
Four broken iPhones
Three burnt toast
Two p!ssy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Eleventh day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Eleven half-full pop cans
Ten “Do I have to’s”
Nine empty chip bags
Eight greasy wall stains
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Fiiiiive poop-stained skivvies
Four broken iPhones
Three burnt toast
Two p!ssy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Twelfth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Twelve broken ornaments
Eleven half-full pop cans
Ten “Do I have to’s”
Nine empty chip bags
Eight greasy wall stains
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Fiiiiive poop-stained skivvies
Four broken iPhones
Three burnt toast
Two p!ssy sheets
And an F in American His’try!!!