You are here

Can’t stand Step son

Katy.kat's picture

Submitted by Katy.kat on Tue, 12/15/2020 - 6:53pm

Forums: 
Blended Family Issues

I feel horrible for even thinking this but he just gets on my damn nerves!!!! He is always so needy towards my husband and says some of the rudest things towards me. Like tonight, I just wanted to spend a little time with my husband. Could that happen? No. Because as soon as I said something, here he comes, jumping right between us saying "no he is my daddy" like cool. He is my husband, now go away. And we ALWAYS have him because his mother is a worthless pos. I'm just at a loss. I don't want to always feel like I'm competing for my husbands attention because I can assure you, I won't stay.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Wed, 12/16/2020 - 10:51am

I just want to say that your feelings sound pretty normal. You gave very little information but i can already see 2 reasons for you to be resentful of his presence.

First, the behavior problems. You didn't mention that your husband addresses it at all. Second, you "always have him because his mother is a POS." It doesn't sound like there are very good boundaries between either your husband and his child (or he would correct his behavior) or your husband and BM. There should be a clearly defined custody schedule. Lack of one creates a situation where your home is controlled by the whims of people who aren't you.

No wonder you feel the way you do. Define your issues in your mind and talk to your husband about resolving them. Be specific. Hopefully he listens. 

Lynneamay44's picture

Submitted by Lynneamay44 on Wed, 12/16/2020 - 2:29pm

I understand why you feel the way you do ! That being said it doesn't make it any easier on you.

I know a lot of wonderful people on here have given me some great advice concerning parenting. One comment seems to stick out... speak with H concerning these issues. I'm sure you have spoken to your H to some extent. Perhaps you haven't come out and said " Hey I resent your son, or he annoys me to no end." Saying your truly feelings isn't easy, and H may get very defensive. 
Without knowing the back story, or the age of SS I would recommend that you set some guidelines up. 
Convey your concerns to your H, but follow up with a probable solution. That way he can't pull the Disney dad or give you the famous line " well what do you want me to do about it?"

Behaviours need to be nipped in the butt ASAP ! If not it will continue and potentially put a wedge in your marriage.