Trying not to take it personally

So BM is now in town and SS has moved out of his bedroom and over to her house. He's been there three nights so far. SD has joined them for dinner two nights. The last two nights she has left at six to go over to mom's house for dinner. SS , DH and I have had a couple of conversations in the days before his leaving to be with his mom. I think its great he's over there, maybe he'll straighten out. However, I can't help but to feel bad that he doesn't join us for dinner, hasn't joined us for dinner for a long time and in fact has never been expected to join us for dinner by DH.

I was gone for the start of dinner one night and when I got back they were all done. I have no idea if SS joined his dad and sister for dinner, I'm sort of afraid to ask as I'm telling myself the answer doesn't matter. I just can't get past "oh my kids love you." but SS not joining us for dinner in forwever and SD picking and choosing when she wants to eat with us. Oh well.

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I wouldnt take it petsonally, either

I went back and read your blogs but couldnt tell how old they are or the custody situation I'm assuming your DH had 100% custody of 2 teenagers. It also appears BM has somehow come back in the picture.

I think it's natural that SS is wanting to make more contact with BM. Most teenage boys would not be sensitive enough to realize that their unexplained absence from dinner might concern anyone. Without knowing your details, Im thinking that if my mom suddenly was available after a long absence, I'd be there often, too.

I feel for you. You've apparently raised these kids 24/7, you've been there and walked the walk. She waltzed back and everything is changed. I get it. Just know that none of this behavior is against you. It's just thoughtless teenage behavior.

If Mom has been gone, of

If Mom has been gone, of course they are flocking over there and everything is wonderful! For now. Don't take it personally. Be glad there is another option to them living with you forever. And be glad their mom is back in their daily lives, hopefully she'll stay.