SD got more gifts for my DD Birthday
We successfully got the rest of my in laws to stay away this weekend and only have SD12 and SIL. My husband backed me up and agrees we shouldnt really see anyone until COVID is under control, maybe next year. YAY! What helped was buying him a book about emotional blackmail which he has been reading every time he's in the bathroom taking a poop. I'm so proud of him for enforcing this boundary. I hope he keeps it up now that he sees it works.
Anyway. I still have annoyances from the weekend. SD completely ignores the concept of a serving spoon and picks from the main dish of food with her own fork. Poking a few pieces before choosing something. I had to remind her several times to use the serving spoon. She also went in the freezer and took a full half gallon of ice cream and plopped herself on the couch to eat it directly out of the container. SIL went and got some bowls but SD was not intent on sharing so SIL ended bio putting the bowls back. My husband made a comment about not eating in it out of the container but she said "it's ok I'm going to finish it tomorrow."
It's my daughter's birthday and my husband's family has given SD more gifts. All of them are saying they don't want her to feel left out. A friend of their family dropped off a gift and she got a small toy for my daughter and a freaking set of jewelry for SD. She's going home laden with bags of presents from her own sister's birthday. I know my DD is 1 and doesn't care but they overdid it. SD is 12 not 6, she doesn't need so many sibling gifts to not feel left out.
As for SIL and SD who just HAD to be here for my daughter's birthday? Both showed up empty-handed. Called it.
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Sd can get treated to presents when its her birthday
Are the inlaws gonna buy your daughter presents on sd's birthday just so your daughter won't feel left out?? I doubt it!!
Good grief!
WTH is wrong with people. Never have I gone to a birthday party and also brought a present for a sibling so they didnt feel left out!! So how does poor widdle SD handle going to friends birthdays, or cousins, or parents? Seriously this is so ridiculous.
I remember my parents got me
I remember my parents got me a LITTLE something when I was 6, and it was a toy that went with something they got my little brother for us to play together.
SD has complained about the price and quality of gifts she gets from friendsat her own birthday parties. I'm sure she will think these are insufficient.
I would remind them of this
I would remind them of this when SDs birthday rolls along and they don't bring your DD anything.
Then people wonder where entitlement comes from...
Exhibit A.
This is not really related but, my best friend thinks her in laws should bring her son (he will be 2 in January) something every time they come to see him. I flat out told her that's ridiculous *shrugs shoulders* Her mom babysits him during the day so her in laws don't see him as much but still.. they should be able to enjoy time with him and not have to give him something every freakin time.
Wow the entitlement of your
Wow the entitlement of your friend! In laws do usually end up bringing something most times but laying out the expectation is out of line.
Yeah that's a whole other
Yeah that's a whole other subject lol.
Your in-laws are goofy and
Your in-laws are goofy and not doing SD any favors. My DD hasn't had her 1st birthday yet, but when she does I can assure you my in-laws will not be buying presents for the skids. The skids will get a piece of cake and a party favor, same as anyone else. Because no one has behaved as ridiculously as your in-laws, they will have no expectation of getting more than that. My skids, like many others, already have two birthday parties, two holiday celebrations, two sets of vacations, double the seasonal experiences like fairs and haunted houses, etc. They don't need more.
Lol my MIL brought gifts for
Lol my MIL brought gifts for SD8 on DD 1st birthday as well. It's so freakin weird! There were other small children there who understood the concept that it's someone else's birthday but apparently at 8 they can't?
Stepkids get babied more than
Stepkids get babied more than actual babies!
Agreed! Like let's teach the
Agreed! Like let's teach the skids that they have to be just as special as everyone else even when it's someone else's special day
DH's coddled exstepson with
DH's coddled exstepson with an alphabet soup list of mental issues would get presents to open on other kids' birthdays or he would flip the f' out. BM's parents favored her oldest son and rarely did things with his kids til after they divorced.
Your inlaws suck. You DH should have intercepted those gifts and sent them back to the sender. I would avoid having SD at DD"s celebrations and cut off the inlaws.
Your inlaws are terrible.
Your inlaws are terrible. These are the sorts of unhealthy practices that become tradition in families that don't have good boundaries.
If your H AND you don't start drawing boundaries now, your DD is going to grow up playing second fiddle to SD, and that will do all sorts of damage to her self esteem.
This first birthday was a warning. You need to start now to prevent this from happening next year.
As for the ice cream incident and disgusting touching of food, this sort of this happens all the time with skids because no one wants to step up and train them so they're left semi feral. Your H chose NOT to parent in that moment, and that's when you need to hold him accountable. "Honey, please get a bowl and teach SD how to use her manners."
The ice cream was old, I had
The ice cream was old, I had forgotten I had it after having a small amount once in early summer, which means she rooted around in the freezer to find it. It had to taste freezer burnt which made it even more disgusting to watch her eat it.
If this keeps up my daughter is going to resent SDs visits because everything normal stops to indulge her.
There was an episode of South
There was an episode of South Park where Cartman's mom gave him a present for someone else's birthday. In fact, Cartman is an example of how a lot of skids are raised.