My 13 year old SS is driving me crazy and I am really starting to get stressed out. He was diagnosed with mild Austism but he is extremely high functioning. I have been with his father for 2.5 years now and I have been able to tolerate my SS's many issues but recently, with being stuck in the house with him constantly, I'm ready to lose my mind.

He manipulates everyone constantly and he knows just how to pick at people to get a rise out of them. He does it to everyone but he does it the most to me, his father and his BM. He has been picking at me a lot lately. He'll do things like move my flowers from the center of the table whenever he sits down and never move them back. I asked him to stop because there is literally no need to move them and he keeps doing it. He hates my taste in decorations so this is his way to telling me he doesn't like the flowers. 

Recently I got a new piece of furniture and he asked where I was going to put it. When I told him in my bedroom he just gave me this super judgmental/annoyed look and said "oh....ok" like he didn't approve of my decision. I am so sick of feeling like I have to check with him before I do something in my own home. His father is pretty good about calling him out on it but he just keeps doing it. 

SS can NEVER be alone....not even for 20 minutes. He's 13!!! He should be able to sit in a room by himself or stay home for 20 minutes while I run to the store but no. He will come downstairs and sit right next to me and play video games or just start talking. I can't get 5 minutes of peace when he is here. I dread the summer when he is home all day because he's constantly begging for us to do something he wants to do. I feel like I have no time to be an adult! He claims he doesn't like kids his own age and he likes his adult friends. He treats other kids like trash so he doesn't really have any friends. Its frustrating because he doesn't have anyone else to talk to/play with...just me and his dad, despite our best efforts. 

He is a slob too. He can't even be bothered to close the pantry door when he's done looking, or close the kitchen cabinets! He also never replaces the TP roll or cleans up any messes that he makes. Basically every time he touches something I wind up having to clean up a mess. He even started putting clean clothes in the laundry for me to wash again because he couldn't find anywhere to put them. I get so stressed when he comes over and he is here half the week and will come over extra days because he wants to hang out with his dad. 

I just want to be able to go an do something with my soon to be husband without his kid calling every 20 minutes to say he misses us and he wants us to come home. He's constantly hugging us to the point where I have to tell him to back-off and he's always giving us the "I'm lonely" line when he has to entertain himseld for five minutes. How can I keep from losing my mind?