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She hates me...

CLC1228's picture

Submitted by CLC1228 on Thu, 04/30/2020 - 7:23am

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Teenage Stepchildren

It has been 3 years that my husband and I have been together. We have gracefully blended our families and things seemed to have been going good...my husband had some issues that his children did not like prior to us getting together, lets just say single man, a lot of cold beer & a short temper (which he never abused the children)...He has came leaps and bounds, his drinking is on a social occasion only and he keeps control....I am SO PROUD of him! However, his daughter (17 years old) no longer has all of that to throw in his face (his ex, her mother, HATES for him to be happy and has used the daughter as a puppet, but thinks no one sees it)...she has no rules at the mothers, she keeps the roads hot (on her 3rd new car I might add), gets and does as she pleases...I always pay close attention to the things I say or do, making damn sure not to give ANY of the children a reason to cause issues or not like me....she hasnt spent the night here in over a year, which the divorce says they have basically split custody, yet BM continues to get her fat check every 2 weeks....its frustrating to say the least, but now, SD has given my husband a choice, HER or ME?!?! What in the royal hell? I could understand if I did something to cause this, but I am so good to them! My husbands heart is broken, mine is broken and I feel like I am about to lose my marriage... for goodness sake how can a 17 year old dicate our marriage!?!? Any advice?

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Thu, 04/30/2020 - 7:43am

So what is her reasoning for this? Why did she deliver this ultimatum? What makes her think she can refuse to live in his home but can dictate who he lives with? SMH

Remind your husband who he'll be growing old with ...

CLC1228's picture

Submitted by CLC1228 on Thu, 04/30/2020 - 9:26am

She cannot give a reason other than I am trying to take their dad from them and have him all to myself, which is RIDICULOUS....Her mother and her are besties, so it is a tough battle.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 04/30/2020 - 8:58am

There is no choosing someone else in a marriage and if he is even considering it, that would be enough for me to walk away.

However- the spanker of teens and short-tempered drunk has already lost his daughter. She just wants to make sure he loses you as well. Very smart your SD. Very smart.

Kee-khe's picture

Submitted by Kee-khe on Thu, 04/30/2020 - 11:18am

Lol. If SD were to ever make that demand to DH, and he were to even CONSIDER it or think twice about it, I'd be gone!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 04/30/2020 - 12:16pm

There is only one answer that an adult of quality would make to this toxic demand by a spawn.  Buh-bye spawn!

Write when you find a job!

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Submitted by Wicked stepmo. on Thu, 04/30/2020 - 12:39pm

I just had this talk with SO last night, because its coming.  Lucky for me SD and BM have done this with every relationship he has had in the past so SO knows its thier MO and doesnt feed into it.  I told him when she goes there to call her out on it. Because she is BMs puppet with no mind of her own and doesn't ever think things through.  I reminded him to tell her when she brings it up all that is going to change is, they have to leave my house.  Which means they will have to move back to grandmas and she will go back to sharing a small room with her sister, all the nice things she has that I bought stay here and she will go back to grandma watching them and she is a whole lot stricter than me. Plus we wouldn't actually break up, we would still each other, she just wouldn't live here anymore.  Him, myself and YSD will still spend time together while she hangs out with grandma and he will stay with me on the weeks she is with BM. Its actually a win, win for me!!