I have a SD(16) and a SS(20).  I have been their stepmother for 8 years and my husband had primary physical custody of his kids.  When I first married DH I had a fine relationship with both skids, especially my SD.  I loved doing things for these kids but I do not believe that I ever overstepped boundaries.  The BM and DH do not co-parent and do not get along.  BM made it very clear to me in the beginning that I didn't matter and I never would - she made good on that promise.  When SD turned 14, things took a turn for the worse.  If she didn't like anything that I or her father said or did, she ran to her mother, who would then call and yell at DH and send horrible things in text messages.  The reactions by both the girl and the mother never seemed to be a normal reaction to what actually had happened. It's been two years and things only got worse.  Ultimately, the SD with the help of the BM just left and went to her BM's and never came back. It all came to a head when she wanted to stay out very late after a homecoming dance and her father said no.  She refused to speak to DH for a long time and made it out that we were horrible and liars.  BM was perfect and everything she said was truth.   However, this is really what I am putting out there to ask.  I always noticed that SD could not communicate her feelings.  From the time I first came into her life, if she was reprimanded or asked questions about something she had done, she would just start crying.  It seemed maybe normal for a 6 or 7 year old.  But as the years passed, she continued this.  I would try and have conversations with her and she would just start crying.  If she was caught lying about something and asked to explain, she would start crying.  She still does it at 16.  She cannot speak.  I don't know what it is.  If asked to explain why she doesn't like me she just cries.  She can't really give specifics and will finally just throw out that I am mean.  Which I know she knows is just not true.  It's her inability to communicate that boggles me.  Has anyone else experienced this with a kid.  It worried me before things went bad and I would tell her how important is was for her to find her voice and speak and tell people how she feels and why.  But she never would.  She just starts crying.  And it's confusing as to why she is crying at all.  Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this with anyone and has any thoughts about it.  I know she obviously has issues with her life.  I don't know if it's about her parents being divorced or not living with her mother at a young age.  I know I was the scapegoat but what about the inability to want to tell someone how you feel. I don't know, just throwing it all out there for thoughts.