I think I've done a bad thing
Okay so my husband has had doubts about his daughter since the day she was born. She's almost 6 now. But he didn't want to change anything simply because he had doubts. You know? He loves his little girl so much and he can't bear the thought that she's not his.
But today I think I found picture evidence that would give a court reasonable doubt of parentage. I've shown my husband these pictures, and I think he's in shock.
His daughter was thought to be conceived on a camping trip, but the trip and the date of conception are two weeks apart. And it doesn't add up. Even my husband thinks that now.
What do we do? We're going to court soon for custody of his little girl, but now we've got this too. I don't even know how to support him right now. I hate myself for even finding this. I was going through my husband's old pictures on Facebook, and found pictures from the camping trip. I then used a calculator to work out the conception date based on his daughters due date, she was born two weeks early so if I'd of used her bday, which I also did, it works out as an extra two weeks early, so a whole month before the camping trip.
BM is adamant that their daughter was conceived at that camping trip. But I think I can now prove otherwise, and prove my husband, at the time, was in a different town altogether.
What do we do?
Help.
I'm not sure you can pinpoint
I'm not sure you can pinpoint conception date with just a birth date and a calculator. If there was an ultrasound done during the pregnancy, it would have given a fiarly accurate date but could still be off by a number of days. Genetic testing is the only way to determine for sure and it doesn't seem that your DH wants to go down that road.
He needs to make
They were not married and there is no court order in place for custody or support. He needs to make a decision before one is entered on whether he wants to request a paternity test or not because once he is formally declared the daddy that is that. I would suggest that he err on the side of caution and request one now. He can always continue to be there for the girl informally if it turns out that she is not his but if an order is entered and he finds out years down the road it is too late. He will be on the hook until she is 18.
I am sorry your dh may have
I am sorry your dh may have become another duped man.
Before any of this gets out to Bm.....encourage dh and the daughter to take an ancestry sample test "FOR building your family tree"....AND for fun to find out where your ancestors came from. Dont give anyone besides dh the heads up. DONT tell his daughter ahead of time either. When the test kit arrives all she has to do is spit in the tube. When bm finds out...just say your doing it for fun.
Dad can keep both samples private on ancestry----OR open it up for realtive matches if daughter isnt his...but that will be bm's decision..
This is done because once she is in the data base AND so is your dh----it will be clear if there is a dna match between dh and his 'daughter'.
IF no dna is present between dh and her---well there is your answer.
How I wish this was around years and years ago.
They say something like if you look like the milk man, you just might BE the milk mans child.
I know somone who has a kid born of a marriage.. The kid LOOKS just like the BM's x boyfriend AND the cousins in the xboyfriends family. Now bm and that x boyfriend are married and dude number one is on the hook for huge amounts of cs.
----
The ancestry thing
It is a go around---to avoid bm and courts right now. You didnt do a bad thing...the truth matters OP.
Kid deserves to know the truth.
All you can do is ask for a
All you can do is ask for a continuance for custody and paternity to be established.
We're in the UK
My husband already pays support for his daughter, so that's not really an issue. We've decided to do a private test. We'll go up to his daughter's town once the coronavirus is home and do the test, we were only going to bring it up to BM if the results say hes not the father.
What will happen if he isn't
What will happen if he isn't the father? At this point, where he is already trying to get custody- is he just going to drop the kid?
Not saying he is right or wrong to do that, just asking, does he have a plan for what happens if he isn't her fahter?
Short answer, I dunno
Long answer, that's difficult to answer. He loves his little girl. Yes court would stop. And I think we'd have to work on getting his name taken off of birth certificate. And talking to child maintenance, because he'd be able to claim back what he's paid.
It's a difficult thing to think about sadly. I guess that's down to my husband. All I can do is support him
I just don’t understand why
Some one wants to raise and pay for a kid his SO had cheateing on him. It's just do disreceptful for the SO to cheat. Then have a baby letting someone else think there the father.mmlet the real father take care of the kids. You know that man who was just so great
Cheaters
I never have been able to understand why people cheat. If you're in a relationship, stay loyal. Some people just don't get that.
If my husband isn't the father, he'll be heartbroken. And it'll be all BMs fault for letting him believe he was the father for 6 years.
Why play games with pictures
Why play games with pictures, old calendars and calculations? Next visitation just do a home/mail in paternity test and end the games. She is or she isn't your DH's BK. Either way, he is her dad and if he wins custody the point is pretty much moot other than BM needs to be tortured for the rest of her life for her lying cheating bullshit if it turns out that DH is not SD's BioDad.
No need to share the results of the home paternity test with the courts .... ever. DH may be able to get custody of his daughter (BK or not), collect CS and keep his foot on the throat of a lying cheating BM for most the rest of her miserable lying life.
Now that is justice.