So the disengagement is going good.  He hasn't started his job yet, the resturant had to get through the big Valentine's week before they trained a newbie.

Anyhow, tonight this happened.   My son dropped his cell phone and the screen cracked.  Being autistic this was not fitting in the agenda.  So after dinner I told him I would take him down to a cell phone repair place and get a new screen.  As we were leaving my DH shouts out that he should pay for it then he will learn to take better care of his things.  Normally this wouldn't upset me but his son , broke the screen on his new phone the evening he got the phone and he went down and got a new one the next day.   Then last weekend he gave him forty dollars as spending money and has been doing it for weeks now.  Ever since he returned to school.   My kids have paid for their own things above basics since their father and I divorced ten years ago.   My other son (who I admit has expensive taste) came down with money to buy a pen he wanted online.   Money was produced first and then the item was purchased.   I wouldn't mind so much but dishwasher was empty this afternoon and SS came up and put his glasses from the night in the sink and went back to his room.  His laurndry is still in the dryer and he doesn't clean his bathroom by himself or wash his towels.  His dad pays for his gas .  I bought my son some underclothes when he started his job since he needed to wear a undershirt, he has since paid me back with his first paycheck.  I don't expect his son to pay him back for the two pairs of pants he bought him to start his job, providing he starts and can keep this job.  

So I am a hypocrite because I gave my almost 20 year old a glass of wine at home on Christmas Eve, his daughter got drunk while we were having a party and neighbors asked if I would lose my teaching license and expressed their disapproval of the fast that his then 20 year old daughter was not only drinking but was actively drunk at a party.   Wouldn't this make him a hyprocrite also seeing as his son is not paying for hardly anything.   My daughter has paid for her cell phone , insurance and gas in her car since she got a job at 16.  My youngest has paid for either with money or extra chores games and stuff he wants.  My autistic son has also paid for things he wants with either money or extra chores.  And now that my autistic son has a job he has taken me out to lunch , bought a few coffees, paid for his work shoes, bought his own school supplies and has now paid for his own screen repair.  His son will also go driving around , on daddy's gas dime, picking up his friends who then buy him lunch for picking them up.  

Ugh.  I don't feel like getting in a disccusion with DH tonight and he probably wouolnd't see it anyway and it probably won't change anything.  Let it go becomes the mantra.   We'll see what his son pays for with his first paycheck. 

Now I did tell my DH that my son of course was going to pay for the cell phone repair because he has bought other things too.  He agreed of course he was.