DH is upset with me. He does not like that I have been mostly non-communicative this past week. I've been quiet because I'm still thinking. Last weekend he accused me of having a hidden agenda behind setting up DS with his own Netflix account and paying out of his bank accounts. My agenda is to help DS start building some credit. That's what I said when I wrote it on our board. My hidden agenda per DH was to boot the skids off the account once I got DS on his own. Truthfully it never crossed my mind. I had this flash of panic that this would be the rest of my life: being falsely accused of thoughts, feelings, and intentions. I was in a long term relationship with someone who did this to me. I broke up with the guy. I am quiet because I'm wondering about the future with DH.

DH has taken my quietness hard. I think he wants me to fight, but I'm not sure. He's upset I haven't been the one to initiate saying good morning or good night. It's not that I haven't talked to him at all, I just haven't done those things. He wrote me a long letter about four things from our past that still bother him. He gave it to me last night. It's made out to my therapist. He says he was going to drop it off but decided to give it directly to me.

Good thing he did. Had he invaded that private space he would not have liked the consequences. I told him so, and I think he knows that. It's not that I'm bashing him left and right to the therapist, but my therapist is my private space to tell my story and work on my things. He said he things we need therapy. I agreed. He said he wants to go together. I said I would be willing to after he goes on his own for a while. He wanted to go to my therapist. I said no. He wanted to go to my therapist together after he does individual therapy. I said no. I'm willing to go together after he goes, but we will have to find a third party. I don't think we mutually should see the same person we saw individually. He just came so close to crossing another boundary. How desparate is he going to get? He talked about going to see my pastor, not his. I wouldn't be surprised if he ponders going or actually goes to one of my parents. I feel like he's triangulating people to get me to apologize and do what he wants.

My frustration with the letter is also that he brought up these things that are in the past, but he keeps harping on me not to dwell or bring up the past. (And I pointed that out to him.)

I'm not sure if I'm asking a question or just posting this to vent.