How do you deal with having a family member you don't love?

That's just it, isn't it?

She isn't your family.

You don't. You just live your life with your 2 kids and let your DH handle all things pertaining to the step kid.

And I agree with the above poster, step daughter is not your family.

I've got 2 step daughters and I have never one time felt like they were family to me....not even so much as like a distant cousin. There is absolutey ZERO feelings for them......it is odd though....considering their father is my husband and the father of my child and they are 1/2 sisters to my child.....I feel nothing positive toward them....

Who told you that you have to love anyone?

Why do you feel that you have love someone whether it is your own "aunt" or your own cousin, sibling, someone else child?

As I said in another post today---some many people toss the word LOVE around "LOVE you, bye love you talk to you later, LOVE you, love you..see ya LOVE YOU, love you love you love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" It has now become just words.

Ask yourself, why do I believe I have to love this person? Who told me that, OR do I just 'think' I am supposed to because well, society kinda puts it out there. IE following the crowd? Or I if I do not LOVE someone else bio child,  am an evil person? Cinderellas Step Mom was pretty shitty. I trust your not like that, right?

Edit to add: Please be at peace and do not be so hard on yourself. Be kind, show compassion---

I would say that you provide basic care and feeding. Beyond that you focus on  your family and children.  On the one hand the Skids are your SO's children but... he cannot be tolerated to sacrifice time with joint kids for prior relationship kids.

It is a delicate balance and it is up to you to make sure your SO keeps that balance.