My weird stepsons just keep getting weirder
My super weird stepsons just keep getting weirder
So I’ve looked all over the internets and couldn’t find anything that could help me understand a new very strange (to me at least) thing my stepsons are doing so here I am asking you guys...very brief backstory is that up until several months ago, my husband had his own home and I had mine so on the weekends he had his boys they stayed over there & my four boys were of course at home with me. Our kids have very different personalities or things in common so we rarely hung out together. When we got married in July we gave up our respective homes and bought a house together. The upshot is his kids stay here and sleep in my kids’ rooms on the four days a month they are with their dad. I switched weekends with my ex-husband (the father of my kids) so we have them on different weekends. (Sorry for not being as brief as I promised!) Anyway, they seem very strange to me and I’m never sure if they really ARE weird or just seem like it to me because they are so different from my kids (they are all teenagers) here is the weird thing I have a question about...two of them choose to sleep together in the same bed even though there are two separate (but equal!) beds in the room. They are 16 & 14. There are no cultural differences since they are all the same race and were all born and raised in the same city in a midwestern state (in the US) does this seem odd to anyone else? Has anybody else dealt with something like this? Or am I the weird one for thinking it’s weird? I get that it probably feels not great to them to have to sleep in my kids’ beds & I totally understand & I try to make them feel comfortable when they are here. I just can’t wrap my head around them choosing to be in the same bed at their ages when they are already together in the very same room.
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Weird, but honestly not
Weird, but honestly not damaging. I think that is one thing that makes our western culture so sad, that if boys/men are affectionate with each other, there must be something wrong with them. I have two boys, a bit younger, but they will at times share a bed. They're best friends, and it makes me a little sad for the time when they feel uncomfortable doing that.
I think it's weird for two
I think it's weird for two boys that age to want to sleep together. When they are younger it's fairly normal but usually boys that age want privacy for certain, um, activities.
If everyone is sure there is nothing bad going on (one is molesting the other) then I guess there is no harm.
It seems strange to me. My
It seems strange to me. My skids have their own rooms, which they use during the daytime, but at night they choose to sleep together in younger SD's room and bed. But they are 4 and 7. If they were still sleeping in the same bed as teens, I'd find it strange, even though I'd know they're used to it. Do your SSs sleep together at BM's house?
How many bedrooms do you have
How many bedrooms do you have at home? I find it a bit odd, I can’t say I wanted to share a bed with one of my siblings at that age, or any age really. But as long as nothing malicious is happening I’d just leave them to it.
Asking....
Have you tried asking them why they sleep together and do they do this when they are with the other parent's house? They may do this for comfort and support, perhaps one of them has nightmares or anxiety about sleeping at your home because it is short and they may feel like they are intruding the others' space. They may feel isolated as only the two of them understand how they feel, at least in their eyes. It may not be "Normal" by our standards but they must be a reason for it, I would look into the why and what can be done to help, it will go a long way for your relationship with them too.
Good Luck.
My male skids are 13 & 11.
My male skids are 13 & 11. They have a room with 2 beds and often end up in the same bed. I guess it's not a big deal but yes weird. My boys slept together as teens or with cousins of the same sex at sleepovers when space was tight and usually pictures were taken with the threat of sending it out...this was before social media lol.
My skids are weird and yours probably are too. They are co dependent on each other now that the evil stepmonster(me) said NO MORE SKIDS IN MY BED!!