SS is only 16, we have full custody with her having visitation twice a year. He barely even speaks to her and only to arrange visits or when she flips out about some perceived issue that doesn’t actually exist. Nothing more and he would prefer to not even then.
As little as humanly possible. SS is 19, but CS goes to 21 here, so she still has reason to harass him. He responds briefly and factually to her emails and stops responding when she gets nasty.
But she's a manipulative, lying, narcissistic alienator and he wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire.
Sounds like BM too. She would contact DH about things that had nothing to do with their daughter, frequently and sometimes at inappropriate hours. DH swears up and down they haven't spoken in a year now.... I question if he's being honest. For someone who would contact him about anything she could think of, to suddenly zero contact for almost a year.
No she's had the same boyfriend for years. My husband is the type who hates confrontation, so he'll often hide things from me he perceives will upset me, yet he still fails to realize the secrecy is what upsets me. I've told him many times I don't care if he talks to BM, so long as it's just about their daughter.
Never. I don't think they have spoken once since their adult son died out of state and she did not notify DH of the death or the funeral. I think that was about 8 years ago.
After she kidnapped their 2 daughters back in 2012, and cut off contact with ss (who hubby had sole custody of) hubby has simply continued to pay his court ordered child support for the youngest. Since sd’s reinitiated contact mid last yr with hubby, hubby just contacts sd23 directly and she lets him know about things or if she needs favours etc. Anytime sd23 messages bullshit from bio mum (word for word what exwife sent her), hubby ignores it. As far as he’s concerned she palmed off sd14 to sd23 to care for whilst she had kidnapped them and never told hubby. She was batshit crazy and kids were pas’d and destroyed by the divorce, he didn’t to do anymore damage.
Hubby never wants to see or hear from exwife ever agaib. So far we’re lucky she hasn’t dared try taking him to court for any bogus stupidity mind games which she did during the divorce. Both her and my husband have remarried
all courts dictated is hubby pay child support, sd’s haven’t gone to visit their dad at home since over 6 years ago and haven’t seen dad in about 3-4 months.
I have no idea, I don't keep tabs on it. The last that I know of was at 1am on our wedding night when he got a text from her that DH better keep sending her alimony money!
DH got a 1am text too 2 weeks after our wedding because she got thrown out of her boyfriends house. What exactly she wanted him to do about it is beyond me.
Right ? It didn't exactly make the marriage start out great.... but she knew what she was doing. She seems to amp up the crazy when big events like that happen. So it's hard for me to imagine someone like her hasn't been in contact for a year. She loves spilling her drama on DH and SD and she's never not having some type of chaos in her life.
Haha we got the drunk visit at midnight wanting to seep over because, once again, her boyfriend threw her out. So it makes me scratch my head she hasn't been in contact for a year, but hey maybe she really hasn't !
Never. When we first got together BM called to ask DH to admit that he still loves her. Lol Crazy woman. She is blocked.
I do talk to my ex on occasion. We are friendly. He texted last month to say he is pleased that DD is dating and what I think of a guy (our DD is a widow so we are both happy she started dating again). Before that he contacted me to express condolences for my mom passing. So if we ever contact each other it’s about DD or other family members on either side. So it’s about every few months or just couple of times a year.
BM is minimally involved. She calls once every few months or if we bug her because SD is upset that she doesn't talk with her a lot. She sees her once in the summer (2-month visit) and SOME holidays. That's about it. So she doesn't communicate with DH/he doesn't communicate with her very often. Actually, she prefers to communicate with me because she feels DH judges her too harshly for her lack of parenting. He gets pretty defensive and upset when his daughter is sad, understandably so, but he tells her off almost anytime he talks to her. So she keeps communication through me about their daughter.
I'm ok with this because I understand her desire to not be berated and I understand my husband's desire to stick up for their daughter to her mostly absent mother so I think it's best for everyone involved if communication goes through me. BM and I get along okay. We actually have a lot in common other than the fact that she's a crap mother.
Since child support ended 4 years ago, DH has had 2 email exchanges over alimony issues and that is it. Since alimony has ended, I don't see him ever communicating with BM again, he doesn't even have her current phone number.
My DH's last communication from BM was a drunk text on SS23's birthday asking if the 2 SSs ever entered his mind when he sleeps at night. My DH had just talked with that SS earlier in the evening to wish him happy birthday and make sure he got the card with a couple hundred dollars DH sent! lol. That was the same year we had taken oldest SS and his family to Disney and Universal and paid for every single thing. The only time he's heard from her since the SSs were young was when she wanted something, usually money. That's been the case the 3 or so times he's spoken with her since CS ended 5 years ago.
lol well at least she wasn't asking if she ever enters his mind when he sleeps at night ! If people want to drink , that's fine, but my problem is the people who bother others and cause problems when they've been drinking.
My SKs are 11 and 16 and my bio kids are 16,14 and 12. I can promise you that DH will have ZERO contact with BM as I will have ZERO contact with ExH when these kids turn 18. The hell and drama that they have put us through....yeah that ends at 18. CS ends at 18 along with any other court ordered obligations. They will be blocked, ignored, and will no longer exsit.
When you have adult children, why on earth would anyone need to ever communicate with an EX following years of them tryhing to sabotage you and turn the kids against you? There is no reason. Anything and everything can be discussed with the adult children. They need money for school? For a wedding? For whatever....the kids can speak with their parents directly and separately.
That was my thinking too , why do you need to communicate so much with your ex when your daughter is a full grown adult ? Really there isn't much need, however, for the sake of their daughter is it good to keep a cordial relationship. Cordial being the key word.
SD is 31-ish, got married a few years ago and I don't even think my husband talked to BM at the wedding.
Some might say I have it easy, and I do in this case, but because their relationship was so ugly, BM used PAS to the fullest. SD used to be mad at her dad. When SD and my husband patched up things, all SD's anger was soon directed to me -- like I somehow caused her parents' miserable marriage!
So I still think a cordial, distant relationship between exes is best if possible so the anger and spite don't end up where they don't belong...like on the poor stepmother's back!
I do feel like BM PAS'ed DH over the past year. SD used to NEVER want to stay with her mother, she even chose to stay at our home the first weekend we were home with our daughter after she was born rather than with her mother. However, the past year I've noticed that SD rarely, if ever stays here for long . When she's in town she might come visit for an hour or two, but stays with her mom when she's in town. It's rather bizarre considering she wouldn't even go visit her mom at all before, but her mom would come to our house to hang out...
My SS is 26. My bride has not spoken to the Spermidiot nor anyone else in the SpermClan in 8 years. I see no reason for her to ever speak with them again since it is unlikely they will participate in any notable way in SS's adult life.
They never attended any notable event in his life including HS graduation, graduation from USAF BMT, promotion ceremonies, etc.... I doubt they would show for a wedding, grand children, etc......
My BF has a continuing group text going that his adult daughters start even when he tells them he doesn't want to be involved. He says he blocks EX's texts because he doesn't like how she talks but he unblocks her every now and then for some reason. It's very odd. I can't stand it.
SS is only 16, we have full
SS is only 16, we have full custody with her having visitation twice a year. He barely even speaks to her and only to arrange visits or when she flips out about some perceived issue that doesn’t actually exist. Nothing more and he would prefer to not even then.
As little as humanly possible
As little as humanly possible. SS is 19, but CS goes to 21 here, so she still has reason to harass him. He responds briefly and factually to her emails and stops responding when she gets nasty.
But she's a manipulative, lying, narcissistic alienator and he wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire.
Sounds like BM too. She would
Sounds like BM too. She would contact DH about things that had nothing to do with their daughter, frequently and sometimes at inappropriate hours. DH swears up and down they haven't spoken in a year now.... I question if he's being honest. For someone who would contact him about anything she could think of, to suddenly zero contact for almost a year.
BM here runs hot and cold.
BM here runs hot and cold. She's quiet for a while, then she starts up her garbage again.
Your BM probably has a new love interest. Why, do you think DH is secretly talking to her and not telling you? Why would he want to do that?
No she's had the same
No she's had the same boyfriend for years. My husband is the type who hates confrontation, so he'll often hide things from me he perceives will upset me, yet he still fails to realize the secrecy is what upsets me. I've told him many times I don't care if he talks to BM, so long as it's just about their daughter.
Never. I don't think they
Never. I don't think they have spoken once since their adult son died out of state and she did not notify DH of the death or the funeral. I think that was about 8 years ago.
That's just evil ! How
That's just evil ! How horrible
DH hasn't talked to BM since
DH hasn't talked to BM since my SD27 was 18.
Mine hasn’t spoken to exwife since the divorce back in 2008
After she kidnapped their 2 daughters back in 2012, and cut off contact with ss (who hubby had sole custody of) hubby has simply continued to pay his court ordered child support for the youngest. Since sd’s reinitiated contact mid last yr with hubby, hubby just contacts sd23 directly and she lets him know about things or if she needs favours etc. Anytime sd23 messages bullshit from bio mum (word for word what exwife sent her), hubby ignores it. As far as he’s concerned she palmed off sd14 to sd23 to care for whilst she had kidnapped them and never told hubby. She was batshit crazy and kids were pas’d and destroyed by the divorce, he didn’t to do anymore damage.
Hubby never wants to see or hear from exwife ever agaib. So far we’re lucky she hasn’t dared try taking him to court for any bogus stupidity mind games which she did during the divorce. Both her and my husband have remarried
all courts dictated is hubby pay child support, sd’s haven’t gone to visit their dad at home since over 6 years ago and haven’t seen dad in about 3-4 months.
I have no idea, I don't keep
I have no idea, I don't keep tabs on it. The last that I know of was at 1am on our wedding night when he got a text from her that DH better keep sending her alimony money!
DH got a 1am text too 2 weeks
DH got a 1am text too 2 weeks after our wedding because she got thrown out of her boyfriends house. What exactly she wanted him to do about it is beyond me.
Yeah because you know you would really
Wanna help your ex out, the one you left and only remarried a new wife and just come back from honeymoon
Right ? It didn't exactly
Right ? It didn't exactly make the marriage start out great.... but she knew what she was doing. She seems to amp up the crazy when big events like that happen. So it's hard for me to imagine someone like her hasn't been in contact for a year. She loves spilling her drama on DH and SD and she's never not having some type of chaos in her life.
We used to get the drunk 1am
We used to get the drunk 1am calls too from bm....WAY to go moty.
Haha we got the drunk visit
Haha we got the drunk visit at midnight wanting to seep over because, once again, her boyfriend threw her out. So it makes me scratch my head she hasn't been in contact for a year, but hey maybe she really hasn't !
Never. When we first got
Never. When we first got together BM called to ask DH to admit that he still loves her. Lol Crazy woman. She is blocked.
I do talk to my ex on occasion. We are friendly. He texted last month to say he is pleased that DD is dating and what I think of a guy (our DD is a widow so we are both happy she started dating again). Before that he contacted me to express condolences for my mom passing. So if we ever contact each other it’s about DD or other family members on either side. So it’s about every few months or just couple of times a year.
BM is minimally involved. She
BM is minimally involved. She calls once every few months or if we bug her because SD is upset that she doesn't talk with her a lot. She sees her once in the summer (2-month visit) and SOME holidays. That's about it. So she doesn't communicate with DH/he doesn't communicate with her very often. Actually, she prefers to communicate with me because she feels DH judges her too harshly for her lack of parenting. He gets pretty defensive and upset when his daughter is sad, understandably so, but he tells her off almost anytime he talks to her. So she keeps communication through me about their daughter.
I'm ok with this because I understand her desire to not be berated and I understand my husband's desire to stick up for their daughter to her mostly absent mother so I think it's best for everyone involved if communication goes through me. BM and I get along okay. We actually have a lot in common other than the fact that she's a crap mother.
Since child support ended
Since child support ended 4 years ago, DH has had 2 email exchanges over alimony issues and that is it. Since alimony has ended, I don't see him ever communicating with BM again, he doesn't even have her current phone number.
Funny about the drunk texts!
My DH's last communication from BM was a drunk text on SS23's birthday asking if the 2 SSs ever entered his mind when he sleeps at night. My DH had just talked with that SS earlier in the evening to wish him happy birthday and make sure he got the card with a couple hundred dollars DH sent! lol. That was the same year we had taken oldest SS and his family to Disney and Universal and paid for every single thing. The only time he's heard from her since the SSs were young was when she wanted something, usually money. That's been the case the 3 or so times he's spoken with her since CS ended 5 years ago.
lol well at least she wasn't
lol well at least she wasn't asking if she ever enters his mind when he sleeps at night ! If people want to drink , that's fine, but my problem is the people who bother others and cause problems when they've been drinking.
My SKs are 11 and 16 and my
My SKs are 11 and 16 and my bio kids are 16,14 and 12. I can promise you that DH will have ZERO contact with BM as I will have ZERO contact with ExH when these kids turn 18. The hell and drama that they have put us through....yeah that ends at 18. CS ends at 18 along with any other court ordered obligations. They will be blocked, ignored, and will no longer exsit.
When you have adult children, why on earth would anyone need to ever communicate with an EX following years of them tryhing to sabotage you and turn the kids against you? There is no reason. Anything and everything can be discussed with the adult children. They need money for school? For a wedding? For whatever....the kids can speak with their parents directly and separately.
That was my thinking too ,
That was my thinking too , why do you need to communicate so much with your ex when your daughter is a full grown adult ? Really there isn't much need, however, for the sake of their daughter is it good to keep a cordial relationship. Cordial being the key word.
That I know of? Never.
That I know of? Never.
SD is 31-ish, got married a few years ago and I don't even think my husband talked to BM at the wedding.
Some might say I have it easy, and I do in this case, but because their relationship was so ugly, BM used PAS to the fullest. SD used to be mad at her dad. When SD and my husband patched up things, all SD's anger was soon directed to me -- like I somehow caused her parents' miserable marriage!
So I still think a cordial, distant relationship between exes is best if possible so the anger and spite don't end up where they don't belong...like on the poor stepmother's back!
I do feel like BM PAS'ed DH
I do feel like BM PAS'ed DH over the past year. SD used to NEVER want to stay with her mother, she even chose to stay at our home the first weekend we were home with our daughter after she was born rather than with her mother. However, the past year I've noticed that SD rarely, if ever stays here for long . When she's in town she might come visit for an hour or two, but stays with her mom when she's in town. It's rather bizarre considering she wouldn't even go visit her mom at all before, but her mom would come to our house to hang out...
Never. They communicated a
Never. They communicated a few years ago when SS landed in the hospital. Understandable.
I probably communicate more with my ex, which is about once a year and that’s too much for me.
My SS is 26. My bride has
My SS is 26. My bride has not spoken to the Spermidiot nor anyone else in the SpermClan in 8 years. I see no reason for her to ever speak with them again since it is unlikely they will participate in any notable way in SS's adult life.
They never attended any notable event in his life including HS graduation, graduation from USAF BMT, promotion ceremonies, etc.... I doubt they would show for a wedding, grand children, etc......
My BF has a continuing group
My BF has a continuing group text going that his adult daughters start even when he tells them he doesn't want to be involved. He says he blocks EX's texts because he doesn't like how she talks but he unblocks her every now and then for some reason. It's very odd. I can't stand it.
Maybe once a week if that.
Maybe once a week if that. And it's usually just sending school information. No real back-and-forth.