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vent.. what would you do?

epgr's picture

Submitted by epgr on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 3:15pm

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SD11 suddenly wont let me and DH have 1 freaken min. alone!
she was perfectly fine doing shit alone, my daughter took bio kids so I was here with just skids.. then hubby gets home and I let them do the usual hi how was your day crap.. she goes off to play inside, when she hears us talking out she comes and follows us around the entire effing time, the minute I try to talk she has something to say, we are walking around and she walks between us, even claiming that she sprained her ankle as she is hopping around.. guess that was the best she could come up with when I was saying and showing hubby why I have a bandaid.
What bothers me the most I guess is that we have not had 10 mins alone in freaking months, and he does not say anything to her, even when I said geesh it would be nice if we had one effing minute alone.. he just smiled.. I have told bio kids to go play, we were talking he has told them that too.. but for some reason wont tell skids that...
am I being stupid because I think he should have told her to buzz off? I mean we had texted earlier about how we need to get a little time alone.. we had the chance but he lets her do this.. I told him next time I will take over if he dont have the balls to tell an 11 yr old to go somewhere else.. its not like we dont have the room or anything for her to do.. we live in a place every kid would want! she knew she was aggrivating me, she knew he wouldnt do anything about it.. grrrrrrrr
maybe I am just overly sensitive, or just on edge cuz perfectdaughter is getting her tonsils out tomorrow..

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 3:20pm

I would retreat to my room, which is a kid free zone in my house. SD has to ask permission to enter.

____________________________________________________________________

"If it sounds like I think I am better than you, it's because I do."

Denial's picture

Submitted by Denial on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 3:20pm

If he won't say anything, I would. Whatever happened to "grown ups are talking and you do not interrupt". If he won't take charge, I would - and have, only with a 16 yr. old SS.

He was a little blown back by what I said (I got a little snarky, ok ALOT snarky) - but he doesn't interrupt anymore. He also knows what we mean now when we say "It's Mommy & Daddy time!" Sad you have to do that with a 16 yr. old - but he knows if he doesn't knock it off - he'll get an earful from me.

unhappy2happy's picture

Submitted by unhappy2happy on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 5:17pm

I agree with 1life1chance, if your DH won't tell his daughter, you should.. She won't expect it and it should help the situation.. If your DH tells your kids to go out and play, you should be able to do the same.. Your father and I are talking, go find something else to do for awhile....

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 3:22pm

Try joking around with him. "How are we supposed to bowchickawowwow if SD11 is hanging out of your A$$ all of the time?"

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

Amazed's picture

Submitted by Amazed on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 3:26pm

*piddle*

best suggestion i've heard to solve this issue:) lol Biggrin

____________________________________________________________________________
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

epgr's picture

Submitted by epgr on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 3:25pm

I just wanted him to take charge.. even told him if its not important to him to spend 10 mins wihtout his 11 yr old up his ass I am not gonna make it important to me, so I wont tell my kids to buzz off again.. and told him he better not either, not till he can grow a back bone and tell skid to..

thewife.. love the signature thing!! lol

Thetis's picture

Submitted by Thetis on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 3:28pm

I think you need to remind Dh who the adults are in the house. Sd tries this shit all the time and needs to be reminded that when the adults are talking she can wait. Ohh but its different. She's 3 1/2, so she has an excuse.
Tell your dh to grow a backbone.

PrincessFiona's picture

Submitted by PrincessFiona on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 4:04pm

I like to put words in his mouth. Like "SD, your father just told the other kids to find something to do, I think he means you too." Gets the point across to both of them.

And I understand the frustration. I get very resentful that I have to go our of my way to word things in a particular manner to get a point made.

NachoMama's picture

Submitted by NachoMama on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 4:21pm

I have the opposite problem...his kids (used to) hang on ME!!! I find it rather annoying. It's cute they love me and all (well one of them still does for the time being) but for the love...CAN I BREATHE please?!?!?! They follow me everywhere around the house...in the bathroom(seriously)....in the kitchen...in the living room. I finally had enough and said "Look fellas...can you give me a little space please?" Much better now...although one hates me now so I don't have to worry about him anymore! Blum 3

****I can do bad all by myself****

Soon2bSM2SD's picture

Submitted by Soon2bSM2SD on Sun, 04/11/2010 - 7:41pm

selective parenting skills? Never heard of that Wink (insert sarcasm here). I wish I had the off button on my ears to block out the constant nagging Smile

NachoMama's picture

Submitted by NachoMama on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 1:55pm

The skids used to be famous for that!!! Our dogs are house broken now but it used to be they would never say a word about the puppy peeing all over the floor. (Until I start down the steps) Then they yell "Puppy just peed on the floor!" SO.... You are in the same room as the dog and you seriously DID NOT see her pee on the floor??? Funny you knew it was there to tell me about it though! Used to really grill my cheese.....

****I can do bad all by myself****

epgr's picture

Submitted by epgr on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 6:33pm

"How are we supposed to bowchickawowwow..".. lol.. oh that dont happen!! .. all I wanted to do was take a small walk in the yard..
What I should says is how do you expect me to want to bowchickawowwow, if I have to treat you like a child too.. tell you what to do, point things out, if you let SD up our asses all the time then I am not gonna wanta to do "other" things cuz I dont want someone else up in my personal space.. er something like that .. lol

Seeking's picture

Submitted by Seeking on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 2:49pm

Is there anyway you can establish some sort of routine or schedule? Maybe give her something to do or show her how to entertain herself for a while? Say this is your alone time and it doesn't mean you are in trouble, after your alone time we can have family time and be around your dad all you want. You know make it worth her while or something? Sorry I don't have anything else to add! I can't imagine your frustration...I'm surprised you are taking it so well! LOL