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Friendship Part 3

love for animals's picture

This was hard for me to write because this argument never should have happened but since it did it should have been the last. (Should have been my second sign),  At this point in our friendship it has been 7 years, her child is now 3 years old. My oldest stepson is living here at this point along with my stepdaughter and her 5 year old child.

Now remember mom and baby stayed the night all the time, they would share my bed (husband works out of town). Mom, Dad and baby stayed at my house for a week because they had toxic mold in their apartment. At the end of that week grandchild was in stepsons room (her uncle) watching him play video games while 3yo was wanting to play with her instead. Mom got sad about that and told her child they were going to go stay somewhere else, I heard this and asked her why? She thought I had an attitude. They had every right to leave, I wasn't’t stopping them but I did say that it was okay for the 5yo to be playing with her uncle and the 3 yo needs to learn that its okay as well that they can play separately for a minute. Mom replied with “All I’m doing is trying to protect my child.” Then grabbed all their things and packed her car.

I told her I would talk to her later and she asked me why I was talking to her like I was. I was really confused at this point. She gets in my face saying I’m acting crazy and she has documents saying she needs a restraining order. That put me over the edge because I have done nothing to warrant that and told her “good luck explaining to your child why she can’t see me, don’t call me again if you have black mold.” About an hour later my brother tells me that Dad is on the way to get their apartment key, he got to my house and I apologized how things went down (have it all on video), he’s all “I don’t believe you, we are getting a restraining order for you threatening baby.” Then proceeded to belittle me about not having a job of my own.

I was very hurt over all this because grandchild just moved in here and started to become great friends with 3yo, my entire family and I were so close to both mom and child. I cried for days not being able to see my friend, my sister, my confidant, the person who helped me with my step kids, the person who I talked to every day, not being able to see this child whom I would do anything for, whom I grew to love ‘as my own’. My heart was legitimately breaking.

A few days after this all went down mom texted my mom and told her that they will miss all of us here and asked my mom if she knew that her child was saying that I tell her to call me mommy, that she has two mommy’s, but mom never said anything just tried to correct her at home and told her that I was aunty. I have never once told baby to call me mom, I would never do that, I have to much respect for mom as a mom, I never even tried to get my own step kids to call me mom. She proceeds to write my mom asking her if it was okay for her child to think that she’s mine and I have tons of photos of child and have done tons of activities with child that I never included mom in. (When she wasn't’t working, she was included in everything), Asked if it was okay that I have a blanket of child and I (which mom helped me make), She said it was all weird and creepy.

3 months passed no word from her. We had a bad hurricane, I get this email from her saying she hopes that we are all okay and that she was extremely hurt by our fight but she was thankful for the times we did have and she genuinely felt she had a friend and a family and that her child and her dog also appreciate everything I did for them as well that she was sad that I never had my own kids so she swallowed her own pride and told herself “we’re in it together”, she wanted me to have the experience of being a parent with baby. For the next couple week’s we emailed each other back and forth talking about everything. She explained the restraining order, she said, “It came from fear and panic,” because in her mind she thought I wanted her child as my own, so when she left my house that day she was afraid to go home because she thought I was going to follow her and take her child and dog. She said she printed the paperwork, filled it out, took them everywhere with her but never filed them, she said that I fooled her, that she has no way to protect herself or them because they would come right to me. She said the thought never crossed her mind of me taking them until the end when I to had a lot of stuff going on with my eldest stepson. But that got me thinking of 3 years before this when she was freaked out so I didn't’t believe what she was saying. But then said, “I don’t think that you would maliciously do anything to hurt anyone”.

About a week later she text’s me asking if her, baby and her dog can spend the night because her and dad are fighting. I allowed it like a fool. That night we three were laying in bed and baby looks at mom and says, “You said aunty was going to take me and keep me”. All mom would say was “lets not talk about that.”

I will end part 3 there. We became friends again… For 6 months. You want the final battle hit like and I will post!!

Comments

love for animals's picture

Sorry for the people who are offput by this. i dont mean anything by hit like and i will post more, i was going to do it anyway if i got likes or not. Its a long story and thought people didnt want to read it all at once so thats why I put it in different parts. This friendship was a struggle and I'm just looking for advise to see if I could have done things differently and possibly help others if they come into a relationship like this.