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Resentment AKA Why did I expect it to be different?

hbomb's picture

Submitted by hbomb on Wed, 06/06/2018 - 10:19am

Logged in under one of my old user names.... Some of you all might remember me.  Boy, things sure have changed around here!

We are getting settled in (as much as possible) in SS City.  It has been a struggle for me, to say the least.  I used to think all I ever wanted to do was move away, and now that I did it... Sigh, I don't know.  Thankfully, I did already have some friends here, so that helps.  

DH is still jobless.  I finally found something I like but that was a struggle too and it definitely wasn't the same amount of money I am used to making.  Thankfully, he helps out around the house.... Not without the guilt trips of me not doing as much as I used to.  Frankly, if I am working, and he isn't... The least he could do is some light housework and cooking along with mowing our tiny yard.  I am pretty sure I am depressed.  Some of the things I normally do I don't want to do or don't feel like doing.  I just want to be left alone and I've been a lot more tired than usual.  Of course, he doesn't pick up on that.  

There is absoutely NO schedule when it comes to SS.  Random sleepovers here and there during the week then every single weekend.  Which is fine, great, I guess but could we have a bit of structure?  Soon they will be going out of state to visit family.  Of course, why aren't I going you ask?  One, that's definitely not the vacation I had in mind, and two, some people have to work and can't take that time off.  I am a bit irritated at the money being spent on dumb things when we are practically living on MY money that there isn't much of for now.  

Don't even get me started on his parenting and the famous "he's heard/seen worse on the bus" excuse.  

Yeah I know, I know.  I signed up for this and blah blah.  

I will probably delete this later.

Comments

momof3smof2's picture

Submitted by momof3smof2 on Wed, 06/06/2018 - 11:28am

Wait. You're working, your spouse isn't, and he's complaining about HELPING around the house? What is he doing all day? 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Wed, 06/06/2018 - 12:13pm

 married ME. I would love to sit and play games, as you work, I can count your money, and buy myself thing.  When you are working I can go out with my friends.  And then you can come home and cook, clean a little because I don’t want you too tired for bed time play. ??!!    Doesn’t sound nice when I say it, does it.!!!   Dump him 

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Wed, 06/06/2018 - 2:26pm

ugh.  My DH had no schedule with skids.. it was willy nilly whenever the mood striked whichever kid, or whichever BM need a baby sitter.  It was maddening.  I need structure! 

And your H and SS are going out of state on vacaton to visit family without you.... on your dime??  Nope.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 06/06/2018 - 8:53pm

When I first started my relationship with my SO 4 years ago, there was no schedule, he had been separated about 1 year, but it was a PROCESS, and it mostly revolved aorund each of their social lives. Then they started a schedule of 2 days one/2 days off, then it went to 5 days on/5 days off, with special exceptions. We live close to TBM, so that makes it easy. Its in my calendar. I pushed hard to have a schedule, and SO agreed, and kids agreed, back then, so we all had some kind of stability.

I would be depressed too, if I were you. Your SO is taking advantage of you, dear. Take this time to hang out and do what you want without having to attend to anyone elses needs. Push your SO to get a job, ANY job. Barista, something.