I started giving ss9 homework assigned by me in addition to his school homework. It's not a punishment, but a way to help him catch up in work that I feel he is behind in. He is required to do it on weekends as well. I fully expected his uneducated egg donor, who hates me w/a passion, to tear his workbook up & throw it away while he was at her house. I told him that if it doesn't come back home with him that I will buy a new workbook and he will be assigned to double the work. I did this so that he would convince egg donor that he did in fact have to do it. I fully expected her to lash out at my husband about me educating her child and making him do homework on weekends and at her house. Instead ss brought home a nicely packaged letter. It even had a wax seal and bm reminded her husband to give it to my husband to bring home to me. Ss9's stepfather wrote the entire letter, not egg donor, but egg donor did actually sign the letter. The letter noted that education is important, that it's obvious that I have been spending time working w/ss to better educate him, that they would help with workbooks if I told them what was required and the letter even included a thank you. Ss's stepfather also included his phone number at the bottom and said that he hoped to hear from me. I like the stepfather, he's always been a positive influence on ss. I've avoided him though simply because of his relation to egg donor. I don't know where to go from here. I wouldn't mind speaking to stepfather, but I've tried on many occasions to make peace w/egg donor and she's always lashed out at me and made false accusations against me. I no longer have any desire to ever be on speaking terms with her. I want her to know that I am doing a good job with her son, but I don't care to ever be on friendly terms with her after all she has done after my many attempts at making peace with her. If I only speak to her husband she is also likely to think I'm flirting w/her husband from what my husband has told me. When he was with her he couldn't speak to old friends that were female w/o her getting jealous and accusing him of cheating. More crazy ideas in her head is the last thing I need. So while I am glad to finally get a little credit, grant it many years overdue, I don't know where to go from here. I don't want to be rude and not respond at all, but all responses are risky.