Disengagement: Holiday edition

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The other night I asked DH when Skid will be here, because I like to be prepared.

DH stares off in space for a second, then responds with “Uh, mid month I believe?”

I don’t respond.

He continues “I know that BM booked the flight and that skid is going to miss her holiday concert at school. Skid is not too happy about that, even though I know she’s excited to come here.”

So, in a nutshell, he knows the date - the in-laws always pick skid up at the airport, because of DH’s work schedule. I know he knows. He wants to keep it on the down low, though, so he can trick me into engaging with her somehow, some way, probably out in a public place, where I will have to put on my best happy face.

I assume she’ll be here this Friday, then. At least I’m still prepared for the shenanigans.

I know what you are saying

I know what you are saying here. Men are not tuned to all the preparation it takes for the holidays. There is so many little things to do; therefore, they do not give it a thought about letting us know a date and time.

My DH is the same way. He thinks it just falls together on it's own. Ugh....

I do very little towards my grown skids, because I am totally disengaged. They stop by or do whatever; I do not give it any effort. I decorate and do the holidays for people that love and respect me. Whether I see my skids makes no difference to me. They come and go to visit DH, I just stay civil and hope it's short.

My DH doesn't understand

My DH doesn't understand calendars at the best of times! Last night after returning from a visit to my daughter's he announced that he would be visiting his sister next weekend. He now works Saturdays so when I asked him when the decorations were going up he couldn't answer me- so I think it will be the day before Christmas Eve!

I get more notice of their

I get more notice of their visits now that I've disengaged than I ever did when I was trying to win over SD. I think he used to be scared to bring it up because he knew I dreaded seeing her. He goes to see her now, so I'm off the hook. Maybe when your SD is older you can avoid her altogether - he can go visit her at college and someday at her house. We can hope, right?

I would say - mid month is

I would say - mid month is not an answer, please give me a date, I need to ensure her room is ready.....

he will give you a date,

then look into the room and say - nah it's ready and book the day away from home lol

I wanted to press him for a

I wanted to press him for a date, but I could tell he was going to throw a passive-aggressive fit if cornered.

Skid spends over half of her visit with her grandparents, thank goodness. DH works 6 says a week, and I’ve already voiced to everyone I’m not an unpaid babysitter.

Oh, and MIL loves to malign

Oh, and MIL loves to malign me, because I am disengaged from her precious snowflake.

The evil side of me wants to have a little fun with this by sending her a text along the lines of “When is skid arriving? DD4 is asking when she’s going to be here. I asked DH, but he said mid month - that he didn’t know the exact date.”

That would expose DH to momsies, while showing I’m on to both of their BS games. Lol }:)

lol.... do it. It's not evil.

I sent her a text almost an

I sent her a text almost an hour ago. I expect there to be a delay in responding, because I’m sure she’ll contact DH first with a “Momjeans just sent me a text asking when skid will be here! What do you want me to say!?”

Oh wait... as I’m typing I just received a couple texts from DH. One with a lot of kiss and heart eye emojis. One with “Thinking if you, love you beautiful.”

After that, one from MIL stating “Skid flew in this morning...”

So predictable.