Who doesn't take their shoes off while eating in public? It wouldn't be as enjoyable if you don't catch the wafting scent of gross, sweaty feet.

As a BM, none of what you've mentioned is at all disturbing. Kids are annoying and weird. Teaching basic decorum takes much longer than it should, even in the best of circumstances.

That said, if these are teens, I think being appalled is a reasonable reaction. If they're >10, I don't see an issue.

next time... have your own convo with YSS...

kick the shoes way under the table/benches or what ever... and do not pay

I don't find the "taking off the shoes" disturbing, but it is a bit odd. In a public place where people are eating could be offensive to other patrons. It's up to your SO and BM to teach such things.

These are the everyday dramas of steplife. You could try leaving some socks to rot in a warm place and then next time throw them under the table and take off your shoes- see if they notice. I would never offer to pay, I used to encourage my grandskids to order expensive and unsuitable things from the menu- because I knew DH would pay for anything their hearts desired- but he would hate them leaving the food uneaten because they then decided they didn't like it! What a shame!

OMG. SD13 used to take off her shoes EVERY TIME at a restaurant.
Both SDs would also refuse to take of their coats, no matter how filthy.
...I could go on about their former behavior but alas I digress.

Basically I stopped going out with them to restaurants at all for about a year, maybe a little more.

The last thing I want to do while eating out is smell dirty boy feet. :sick:

My YSS used to have a bad habit of laying on the booth seats when we ate out. Or putting his head down on the table because he was pouting. He was a horribly picky eater and would cry if they didn't have exactly what he wanted the way he wanted it.

YSS did this in the restaurant our friends owned one time. He was mad that we were eating there so he refused to sit with us and sat at a table by himself. Then he proceeded to lay across the chairs and make himself look ridiculous. DH was ignoring him and I was about to lose it. My dear friend/ owner knew I was about to blow and the reason I didn't say anything to YSS this time (because DH would only say I was being mean).
My dear friend lost it on YSS and scolded him in front of the entire table/ including DH. I was so happy she did that.
DH didn't say a word. It wasn't long after that when DH finally started correcting his kids in public.

OSS was talking a mile a minute and was extremely loud. Finally, SO said to him lower your voice you're talking very loud. You could tell OSS didn't like that.

Good on SO.

YSS was telling us about his day and OSS just cut him off. I noticed he does this if the attention isn't on him. So when he finished I said to YSS, now what were you saying.

I went beyond that with my own kids when they were that age - told them to wait their turn, their sibling is talking right now, it'll be their turn in a minute.

They put the chicken fingers on a bed of lettuce. You would have thought there were live worms on their plate because both OSS and YSS, starting having a fit. I said, guys you don't have to eat the lettuce it's just a garnish.

When my kids would start throwing a fit, I would shut that behavior down immediately - not acceptable. You're right, it's just lettuce.

OSS dominated the conversation.

They do that. Up to the parents to teach the kids manners about always taking over.

I happened to move my feet and felt something under the table. I looked and OSS had taken off his shoes. Who takes their shoes off in a restaurant to eat? Seriously, I'm asking. So please enlighten me. I asked who's shoes they were thinking SO would tell OSS to put his shoes back on. Would you like to know OS's response? Of course you do, he said OSS always takes his shoes off when in public to eat. Uh okkkaaaayyyyyyy. Again, Step Talk if this is ok, please tell me.

Meh. Not MY feet exposed to a bunch of germs on the floor... if they smelled, I'd make them put them back on... but whatever. I have no shoes on right now, under my desk. But my feet don't stink.

Dinner is done and OSS asked his dad could he get dessert. No biggie. While he was eating his dessert every couple of seconds he kept asking us, are you all waiting for me. We said no take your time and eat your dessert. I would not ever rush anyone while they are eating dessert.

Cool.

The check came and I offered to pay. OSS and YSS both asked how much the bill was. Thankfully SO said why are you offering to pay. They both looked a little embarrassed and sheepish. I needed to leave the tip and told them I'd meet them outside. SO gets up and walks outside, OSS and YSS just sat there. So I found the waiter and handed him his tip. When I moved they moved.

Why did you offer to pay? DH suggested it... let him pay. Pretty normal kid behavior to ask how much the bill was... the only thing is that they should have gone with dad - he should have made sure they were going with him - and/or you should have sent them to see their dad.

That was by far the most interesting dinner I've had to date.

lol

Oh boy.

Are they like that at home OR was this unusual?

Maybe try the "we are going out to eat. WE expect you to keep your voices down so NO one else can hear you except us 4, Keep your shoes on your feet"...I AM STARVING so please don't goof this up or we will walk out the door to go home. Where it is lastnights left overs EWWWWWW, ,,,, LETSSSS GO

Make it fun. If that does not work....do take out next time

JMO

You set your own limits. Why would you say everything was acceptable by offering to pay?

These kids are way too old to throw petty tantrums over food. I would refuse to dine with them in the future.

No advice, BUT if I'm wearing flip flops I take them off and sit crisscross at the table. I know it's weird, but I ALWAYS sit that way. I do NOT put my feet on the floor like that. Again, I ONLY do this when wearing flip flops. I would never take actual shoes off to eat.

I think there diet choices just went to 100% lettuce until further notice or correction of their behavior. }:)