Lost in step parenting
:? Really could use some advice. So I am the biological mom of two wonderful children DD is 4 and DS is 3 months, and the stepmom of two awesome children SS is 7 and SD is 9. I've been in their lives since my SS was about 4. We have always been very close and bonded right away. Our connection was very tight until recently. My husband and I found out that his son had been hurting my 4 year old whenever he could get a moment alone with her. I took this extremely hard and I still cannot forgive him for it. I know he is a child which makes me have intense guilt for having this resentment towards him. We also learned recently that my step children have been actively involved with trash talking about me to their bio mom. I have never given them reason to do so but this has hurt me deeply. I'm not sure what to do. We've tried to ask them why they do this and their only responses were I don't know. I feel myself pulling away from them and building up a wall that I never imagined I would put up. If someone has any advice or can relate please help. I don't want to feel this way forever because I do love them as my own
They do it because they think
They do it because they think it makes their mother feel good. Classic loyalty bind.
I think resentment should be
I think resentment should be part of the title for stepmom, apathy for stepdads...
While it isn't good, the hurting of your children is jealousy. That is going to make you angry. Mine don't hurt, but my stepson pokes my son so that my son gets into trouble. Worse yet my husband doesn't see it. (Both his) you need punishment and possibly counseling for that soon.
Baby Mama Drama- I hate it, you hate it and you get the reality of pretty little liars. Contrary to popular belief kids are not always innocent victims. Manipulation starts early... think about the constant crying to be held. If trashing you gets her attention then you better put on your jumpsuit because you are about to be thrown in the landfill! Just state to them that it hurts you and that we f they truly have an issue then they need to talk about it with you. Otherwise chalk it up to venting and recognize that they will be worse as teens.