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talk of having a child / update on the lies

smilie's picture

Submitted by smilie on Wed, 05/10/2017 - 11:49pm

for starters I absolutely want children ! 3 or more if I am lucky Smile however since my SD has gotten in the habit of lying it makes me nervous to have a child of our own. I am concerned that It will further issues with her and worse. he seems very upbeat and excited to start trying and I want to be in the same spirit but how? ugh

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a few days ago she's tells her father that she doesn't want to live with me over text while she is at her BM house. and he slightly goes off saying "you don't want to live with someone who cooks, clean, and drives you around" or how about picks up cousins and friends whenever you want them to come by. further more she was still planning your birthday after you started all this mess between your mother, her and myself"

she replies ; you wouldn't understand...I guess I have to wait til I go to college

I feel bad that me telling her she cant go outside for a day has her hating me this much I'm speechless...

Comments

Powerfamily's picture

Submitted by Powerfamily on Thu, 05/11/2017 - 2:25am

Well that's ok as now you have time for children as you will no longer wasting your time be her cook, cleaner and driver. I would suggest that your DH find some else for her to stay with while you would normally do it. Be strong when she asks you for anything tell her ask her dad.

All children lie, it's how you deal with it is what stops it. If her parents aren't going to then you need to disengage/nanny cams for your peace of mind.

danielsj2's picture

Submitted by danielsj2 on Thu, 05/11/2017 - 9:45am

Ha I just posted about this in a similar situation a few days ago. As other fine members on here have pointed out when I expressed my hesitance about having a kid of my own because of how my SK's act they all were in agreement that you can control how your kid turns out since you are the one instilling morals. Right now, your SD has another party influencing her behavior patterns--it's not just you and your hubby. If you want to start trying--go for it! You and DH know how you want your child to act and how to guide him/her during that process. Kids lie.. its a part of growing up and learning right from wrong. The BIG difference in having your own child vs stepkids is that YOU and only you teach them what is acceptable and not. You don't have a BM that is contradicting your teachings. Best of luck!!

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 05/11/2017 - 11:06am

I agree. DH and I have BS7 and he is night and day different from SD19 and SS18, and I truly believe it's because of how we are raising him. I am the polar opposite of both BM's. I value education, I enjoy working (for the most part), I have a conscience and would NEVER spend money that is supposed to be for my child on foolishness for myself, I don't allow BS to play video games (other than things apps on his tablet), I give consequences for bad behavior, while I love my son and we have a good relationship, I am not trying to be his friend, I don't drink, I don't do drugs and for the most part I don't act like an asshole. These are ALL polar opposite ideals to that which skid's BM's hold. And look how they've turned out.

The only reason there is a sliver of hope for SD19 is because she was removed from the skank-a-ho tribe's grasp by moving 3 states away and living with Aunt J for her Jr. and Sr. years of high school. And it's STILL debatable as to whether SD can actually keep the crazy under control. Because for some reason, the tribe STILL seems to be able to infiltrate and influence her from time to time :?