Some time ago, when YSD told DH & I that she was coming home for a visit, she also mentioned she should have access to her SF's truck and would drive herself to our place.

Great, that made things easier for us, wouldn't have to make the trek out to BM's or wherever to pick YSD up, etc..

Then a few days before YSD arrives she tells us that she should have access to the truck, but will probably need someone (DH of course) to come out to pick her up at BM's, then go to get the truck, but also had to make a pit-stop at BM's work, yada yada

As YSD is saying all this I'm thinking to myself why can't things ever just be normal with DH's family? Whenever there is any sort of family visit there is always all these crazy complications and running around etc..

DH & I eventually tell YSD that if that much is involved, we would just come out and pick her up at BM's. It's a three hour round trip, but easier than all that running around (and avoiding having to go in to BM's work to see her as well)

So the day before YSD arrives she sends a text message to DH that BM doesn't seem to want her to take SF's truck. That he is away (so it make sense she has access to it like in the past) but that for some reason BM doesn't want her to take the truck, she thinks BM and SF are fighting, could DH just come and pick her up at BM's

Fine

DH was going to go on his own as he has in the past, but since it's such a long drive not to mention we had both taken the day off and were out running around with errands etc... I came with him

We were sure BM wouldn't be home, she never takes time off when YSD comes home, and we were picking SD up in the afternoon on a weekday, but to be sure DH calls YSD to tell her approximately when we should arrive, and says he'll call her five minutes before we're in the driveway so she can just jump in the car and away we go

Great.

So, we pull into the driveway and wait for YSD. And wait. And wait.

DH is just about to get out of the car to go ring the doorbell when the door opens. YSD comes out. BM is right in the front entrance along with YSD.

DH stays in the car. As YSD is coming down the front steps DH is again about to get out to lift her suitcase in the trunk for her, when BM comes out to the front step, right behind YSD.

I think at that point BM realized it wasn't just DH but I was there in the car too. Instead she busied herself looking at something (I have no idea what) on the front step

Suddeenly I remembered how I had been wondering why DH's family visits are never "normal" and it occurred to me why. Because there is always some pre-planned agenda either by BM or with BM to cross the line when it comes to DH

No wonder BM originally said YSD could have the truck but would have to have someone (DH) go with her to pick it up, and stop by to see BM at her work - BM figured it would just be DH getting YSD and she could make DH come out to see her at her work

And of course, when BM learned that DH was just going to come get YSD and bring her back to our place, then BM suddenly is home from work at that time.

No wonder the long wait in the driveway when we got there (maybe hoping that would prompt DH to come up to the house where she could chit-chat with him, maybe have him come in to fix something in the house for her like she used to, make sure to give him a big inappropriate hug like she likes to do, just generally crossing the line) and when that didn't work and DH didn't come into the house, she she thought maybe coming right to the door, then following YSD outside when she was getting in to DH's car might prompt it - then was probably surprised to see me sitting in the car

Here DH & I have been thinking how great things have been where BM is concerned the last three months. She seems to have finally gotten the message and has stopped coming to DH's family events that she had no right to be at, and even wasn't in attendance for the events it made sense for them both to be at. I'm sure this is why DH's sister has cranked up the nastiness to us lately, but we've been enjoying the peace. I should have known that while she may have toned it down, she will never give up!