Wtf is happening
Forums:
16 y/o SD stole a teacher's credit card and used it for days, (she hid all of this stuff at school so we couldn't have known). Teacher is pressing charges (we're all in favor of, it's not the first time she's stolen and I believe you pay for your crime, I'll back up my kid until they're wrong). She ran away to her bio dad's house in another city, (WHO SHE'S NEVER MET but once in 16 years, for about an hour) and lied to him and said we were abusing her. My question is, can the school police department go get her from his place and bring her back here to face charges, and, if anything can happen to him. Is a felony crime committed in school considered the same as a crime committed outside school.
There is a lot of info online
There is a lot of info online if you do a search about using stolen credit cards. Sounds like she is in serious trouble. Being a minor may affect how she is charged.
Does your DH have full custody of her, did she live with him before running away?
Child services may become involved since she said she has been abused.
Good luck with it all. Sounds best to wash your hands of her. Don't bail her out of jail. If the bio dad will keep her then good riddance.
I would get her a lawyer. She
I would get her a lawyer. She has obviously broken the law but should still have legal representation.
She is 16. This sounds like
She is 16. This sounds like her first brush with the legal system. If it were my kid I would want her to be represented legally, If it were my sd I would encourage my husband to get her a lawyer. Court appointed lawyers barely get time to learn someone's name before representing them.
But you'd pay for it
But you'd pay for it initially right and then make him pay you back? Or would you encourage him to stay on the run and earn money first before consulting with a lawyer?
I know all about teens,
I know all about teens, having raised three humans to adulthood and lived with and currently living with DH's three humans.....
When Thing2 had his run in with the law, as a 20 year old, I fronted him the money for his attorney and the internship he had last summer paid me back.
Nothing wrong with making a kid responsible for his/her own actions, HR.
If I were OP, I would not lift a finger to help a lying runaway thief, but that's just me....16 is MORE than old enough to know that stealing is wrong...
Nope - I contacted my
Nope - I contacted my favorite criminal defense attorney and former boss, paid the (discounted) retainer and then sat back and let Thing2 deal with it. He got off easy, in my opinion, with non-reporting probation and random alcohol tests. Two months later, when he lost his PBT sheet and therefore was violated, I went with him to the hearing, sat in the back of the courtroom and let he and his attorney handle things.
I made him sign a contract at the outset of all this horseshit that said he would pay me back over the summer when he was making bank at his summer internship, which he did. Oh, and I bitched at him and told him how disappointed I was.
Never lifted a finger to get him out of it, never excused his stupid behavior and ALWAYS let him suffer the consequences of HIS actions.
It sounds like you handled
It sounds like you handled this perfectly.
Making sure your skid is not lost in the legal system and gets a fair trail is not bailing the kid out. It is giving them a shot at a future that is not forever tainted by idiotic teenage choices, while still facing the real consequences of their actions.
They can and will go get her
They can and will go get her to make her pay. It is best if you your SO tells the biodad what she has done so 1. He can keep her from stealing from him and 2. He can let her know his home isn't an escape from what shes done. The adults need to sit her down and explain how the law works: you break it, you pay/do time to fix it and running away will only make it worse. If the cops have to go find her then any negotiating for probation/community service/reducing time in juvenile detention center (where she will go since she is a child instead of an adult) will be gone. The best way to put this in the past is for her to learn from it, admit she was wrong to the judge and apologize to the teacher, then pay for the crime she committed. If the cops come and your SO doesn't tell them where she is or the biodad keeps her then yall can also be charged.
Wait, less than a month ago
Wait, less than a month ago you said birth father had agreed to take the teen and you were inquiring if your wife may have to pay child support. Now you're saying the teen ran away and you want to send school police after her and possibly some type of charges be had against the bio-father.
First, no school police in one city would have no authority to go and arrest a teen in another city. That's not to say , however, two different police departments (or county or state police) would not work together.
Which parent currently has custody of the teen? You've also stated before that CPS being called and accusations being made. So, do I have this straight? Pre your wife sending the teen to another city to live with her father, the girl was already making abuse accusations against you and/or Mom, the girl had already stolen the teacher's credit card (perhaps though not yet caught) and CPS is currently investigating either you, Mom or both and now perhaps your wife my be found responsible for a criminal act of the child under her supervision aka custody.
Did I get this right? While, the kid did the crime, it's going to be potentially be Mom who is responsible for fines/fees retribution. Just like with the $1,700 truancy fines your wife faced while child still lived in your home.
Yeah, you and your wife need a lawyer's advice and services over any advice you might receive from random strangers on a venting site.
YUP! PDs are the best. They
YUP! PDs are the best. They do the work that literally no one else will do...
https://www.steptalk.org/node
https://www.steptalk.org/node/235232
https://www.steptalk.org/node/235052
https://www.steptalk.org/node/234879
Lol dang. I come back in the
Lol dang. I come back in the morning and it's a complete s***storm. I was just trying to vent, geez. Let's get this clear, No one's been out being abused, she is just trying to circumvent blame on anyone else so she doesn't have to face the fact that she's the problem. She ran away to his house and didn't say she has a warrant for fraud, she said she ran away because she's being abused.
If you want to stay with bio
If you want to stay with bio Sperm donor, by all means, go ahead but I just don't want him to file child support on me, I've financially supported her for her entire life, he doesn't pay CS and is $50 g's behind, (he verbally said he doesn't work because child support is to much and not worth it). let's not forget my 15 y/o SD (her sister) is an honor roll student who does right and me and her have a great relationship, she has everything because she EARNS it with good grades and respect. she sees me as dad and I have always considered BOTH OF them my own.
That's the plan now, make
That's the plan now, make sure our finances cant be touched, and if she thinks she has it better, go ahead and stay, you're not welcome back here though, this isn't the first time this has happened and it won't be the last, so he thinks he can do better, have at it.
All it will take is an arrest
All it will take is an arrest warrant and a phone call to the police where she is hiding out and they will frog march her ass in handcuffs back to your local jail to face the consequences of her crime.
Let her actions fall full force on her head and she can spend the rest of her teens and probably into her 20s in juvenile prison where she belongs.
If it were my kid or Skid... public defender it would be. Not one penny of my assets would go to defend that kind of crap unless I was completely confident that my kid had nothing to do with it. Barring a mental illness 16 is more than old enough to have clarity on the difference between right and wrong.
Buh-bye kid. Enjoy the pokey.
I will disengage and laugh
I will disengage and laugh and tell DH - your kid you deal with it....
I know it's not really his kid just his SD - but he can simply tell BM now - I'm done raising a child not off my blood... now it's between you and her bio Dad... cheers