This is my previous post.
https://www.steptalk.org/node/232746

Sorry for rambling, I just need to vent and ask. DO you think Molly is just being a teenager or getting brainwashed by the MIL?

Since this post, another family issue evolved with his brother. Long story short, the family has a family-fun entertainment business, which I have been "giving my time to" or “wasting my time at” since I am not worth paying, yet everyone else gets paid and I do more work. BIL got in my face screaming about wasting money on kitchen sink parts, which needed to work to function properly, so I put everything back how it was and quit doing maintenance on the product and had not done work for the last 2 weeks of the season. After the season, he got in my face screaming about not fixing the sink, and it ruined the show, (all in front of dh), I calming stated you yelled at me for wasting money so I haven't done a thing. He went on to call me a useless piece of sh!t that has ruined everyones life, I am the reason dh doesn't see his daughter, going on for about 10 minutes as dh and him are screaming at each other. (DH told me to go sit in the car). At that point I was done with him, done with the family business. Me not working on the sink, had nothing to do with “his” food and entertainment issue; I was just getting the blame. There was already tension between dh and his brother this complete season, I am not going to lie. I have two jobs and take care of my father and the whole household, I work at their family business because its the family business and I have been in their for 5 years and have not been paid for 4.5 years. Needless to say dh went to mil house after dropping me off at home, then she went off about me consisting that they do not understand me and can not figure me out. She went off once again on “I am not Mollys mother” all the way to commenting when we went to a soccer tournament I did not open the door for her or scoot my seat forward so she could be comfortable in the back seat. DH is still defending me and all and thinks that his mother is just jealous and the bil has always wanted to be mollys father and he is jealous of the relationship with his daughter since he does not have kids.

Fine, done with the whole family at that point and had no contact with them for about 8 weeks except for Molly. Now stating this, MIL's favorite child is BIL, and BIL is at her house every day sitting on the couch. For the last 8 weeks before Christmas, I have only gone to Mollys games and maybe ate with her a couple of times. DH asked me to go to Christmas at his familys house (which is also the first time he seen BIL since the fight), kind of begged, I said yes fine sure I will go. I went and sat in the corner and didn't say too much. I got highly annoyed when MIL called the lady that BIL has been dating for 6 months kids her grandkids and asked again to get affirmation that they were her grandkids. Molly opened her presents and I went to explain what something was and I got an evil look, just for talking to Molly. Now other then Hi, that was really the first thing I said to her. I bit my tongue and let it be. DH asked MIL what she got his nephews (her other grandkids) for Christmas and everyone was still going to Maine for New Years to celebrate Christmas up there. She said what she got them, then he asked if that was what the other BIL told me to get them, and I said yes. Now BIL in Maine specifically told me what to get them for Christmas, which I shipped already to them at that point so Santa could deliver on time, and she was pissed off at me cause thats what she got them. They went upstairs to eat and I stayed downstairs and chose not to eat, cause quite frankly I did not want to get yelled at for anything.

Last week, we went to Mollys game. Gramma (MIL) and Grampa went, Mollys boyfriend went and another of his friends. Usually after her games we go out to eat after the games, nothing was said so we went home and they went out to eat after. DH was pissed. Another time last week, DH took Molly to Mollys BF game without me (planned) to spend time with the alone on her winter break, and MIL/FIL miraculously just show up.

Yesterday, I went with DH to pick Molly up for training and practice from mil house, he went in the house for about 20 minutes and I just waited in the car, she walks out of the garage and gives me an evil disappointed look and rolled her eyes. He got in the car and slammed the door. Didn't say a thing for an hour until DH turned around and said hey you have sneakers right, of course her answer is no, an hour away from the hosue. He asked me if my shoes would fit her and I said probably, so I gave her my shoes, too of which now I don't have shoes for 3 hours so I can't do anything but sit in the car. After training she gets back in the car didn't say a thing for the hour home until it was time to pick up her boyfriend. When we got back to mil house, she got out of the car she says bye dad love you, and slammed the door.

Now we have had a great relationship for 5 years, up until BIL got in my face then went and sat on MIL couch, and its been a “get rid of me mission” why do I feel like she is being told to act this way? I just have a feeling. I have not said anything to DH today about it, but its just bothering me. MIL is exactly why bio-mom is obsolete. They(the family) got rid of her by the time Molly was 2.

DH usually takes Molly to her bfs games and I never go, its there time, which is fine. DH said he wanted me to go tomorrow. I just really do not want to go, I don't want to lie to him, but I don't want to say your daughter is turning into a bitch like your mother either.

I understand she is a teenager, and I guess I should expect some attitude, but in the back of my mind I feel like this anger or issue or whatever it is; is mil/bil instituted. I am really to the point of my own anger today of looking for an additional job to move out and just say your mother wins. Its not fair for me or dh. Nor do I feel dh is giving me any negative feedback towards it, but I don't want him to not have a relationship with his daughter because of me because his mother is has issues. On the other hand, I feel I should stay and fight, mil has gotten rid of every women in his life since he was 18 with her evil ways.