Help!! BM Holiday Drama

Ok I know I am new on here but I was hoping that someone could help with this. Per the custody agreement, DH gets the kids Thursday through Sunday although we usually have to keep them till Monday. BM is now refusing to allow DH to get the kids next weekend due to Christmas. The before agreed upon arrangement was we take them Thursday and drop them off early Christmas morning so both parent get Christmas day with the kids. The kids will have to be at her dads house Thurs and Friday as she is a bartend and works doubles those days so she is only doing this to be spiteful. DH's heart is breaking..

Any advice on what can be done would be amazing. THANK YOU!

danielsj2's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

Yes, i told him we need to go

Yes, i told him we need to go back and have specifics written out in detail. As it stands now, we pay her child support even though we have the kids 6 days out of the week most of the time. This is so frustrating.

I wish you were SO's lawyer.

I wish you were SO's lawyer. That dumb ass bitch agreed to it even tho SO didn't want it. They way shit went down one would have thought she was Bm's lawyer. When we went back to amend it I played lawyer and he did better without one.

Ha! I should have been a

Ha! I should have been a lawyer with how much I insist everything is in writing. I have been saving every nasty text, email and voicemail she has sent me for the past year.

HAHAH Preach!

I agree completely. This all

I agree completely. This all goes back to him always bending over backwards to keep her calm by not making demands so he can see the kids and she doesn't go psycho. And I do mean psycho.. she is currently on probation because 6 months ago she showed up to our house completely plastered and spit on her own baby....

We have. She has a dad has

We have. She has a dad has money and a very expensive lawyer that always buries or delays the proceedings somehow. He says he doesn't want to take her kids from her (her son is extremely attached to her) and is always hoping that she will mellow out. And she mellows out for a few months and everything is fine and then BAM something like this happens. We will be going back to court after the new yeatr. He is not active duty military anymore so his lawyer said that will help in the case.

Believe me I am frantically

Believe me I am frantically working on it. I have had about enough of her BS

Yea, I agree for a while SO

Yea, I agree for a while SO and BM had a verbal agreement with all of of it visitation, holidays and we kept months and months of emails showing the verbal agreement wasn't working. Finally filed the motion brought all the evidence to court and between SO and BM and a really really efficient mediator not one stone was left unturned!

Yea I really didn't want to

Yea I really didn't want to have to resort to that on Christmas around the kids but they may be the only option.

Yep - not much more helpful

Yep - not much more helpful here, but they will speak to the withholding parent and try to convince them to follow the order.

Those reports, as you know, came in very handy for my DH.

I hate when people assume that the police will get involved when they won't...I think it sets them up for disappointment.

Holidays usually supersede

Holidays usually supersede visits but without a CO IDK. Xmas day is SO's. This weekend is NOT his weekend for visits but he will be seeing the kids on the holiday.

Might want to consider filing a motion and get all details in writing. If it's one thing these ladies taught me is. DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS. EVERYTHING.IN. WRITING.

Yes it looks like we will be

Yes it looks like we will be going back to court. ugh

OMG that is the most

OMG that is the most brilliant idea I have ever heard. lol Seriously genius. The only problem if she is so manipulative.. she would you that in court to say "see he didn't even want to spend time with the kids"... Just to gie you an idea of what kind of person we are dealing with here.

That too is a good idea

Tell SO to say ok you keep

Tell SO to say ok you keep them but then danielsj2 and I are going to make other plans to go to xyz Spa resort for the weekend and won't be around if you need us or change your mind. Make sure all her refusals and her being uncooperative are in writing text-email. This way she says that you can come back with well she refused visit and my wife and I made other plans.

these are all great ideas.

these are all great ideas. This totally sucks cause now DH and I are fighting over it.

From the back round she's

From the back round she's given us this one is a typical BM blinded but her hate and spite. So I'd say there is a 75% chance won't see what they are doing and once it sinks in that the 2 of them are off to spend a kid free romantic weekend alone and on xmas to boot, she'll be sending those kids right off. She don't want SM happy.

You think?

What do you have to lose.

What do you have to lose. Just make sure her refusal for the holiday is in writing. Or her being uncooperative. I prefer email less chance to tamper with it. Text can be deleted phones lost. Email can be brought up on any server.

Yea but getting her to say it

Yea but getting her to say it via email will be difficult. She knows we keep texts and such so she literally calls 50 times ina row and refuses to leave VM.

That's the worst thing to do!

That's the worst thing to do! TRUST me it makes matters worse. I've had many of fights with So over it as have most of the ladies here. You'll find this is one of the biggest reason most of us took steps back and disengaged. Not my skunk not my stick or not my circus not my monkeys. This shit will take it's toll on you. LISTEN YOU CAN NOT CONTROL BM. YOU CAN CONTROL HOW YOU REACT AND YOU DEAL.

This is good advice.

I can not take credit. It was

I can not take credit. It was given to me by the fine ladies here and years of feeling like I wanted to bash BM's face in. It takes more energy to be angry and just want beat someone then it does to smile and say ok.

Seriously tell your SO. Ok babe she isn't going to let us see the skids for xmas and I know it sucks and I am sorry but instead of sitting here and being miserable lets make other plans. NOTHING NOTHING NOTING makes a bitter BM more mad then you guys having a good life and being happy. If she gets wind you're fighting or that "she" ruined your holiday she wins! She's happy.

Do not fight with your SO over her HE CAN NOT CONTROL HER ACTIONS!

Yes I know this. And it

Yes I know this. And it feels so goods to talk with all of you knowing I am not the only one that has ever had violent thoughts towards a BM. It just breaks my heart seiing DH so devastated thinking this would be the first Christmas in years he has gotten the kids on christmas eve and morning.

Yea it sucks seeing someone

Yea it sucks seeing someone you love hurt, but fighting with him over her doesn't help him. Be his bright spot, try to lift him up, put his mind at ease. Trust me it's hard but at the end of the day you don't want BM to win knowing she caused all this. She comes in causes a mess and walks out untouched and now the 2 of you are at odds.