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Would this bother you?

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Wed, 05/25/2016 - 8:08am

Hypothetical question...

If BM owned a car that SS has taken over payments for but it's in BM's name would you want your SO to drive it? Like if SO and SS were taking a road trip and it made sense for whatever reason to take SS's car (newer, better on gas).

BM is high conflict.

ETA: SS is an adult.

Comments

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Submitted by Learning to Ste... on Wed, 05/25/2016 - 8:20am

Not to mention if something should happen, like a minor fender bender or even a scratch of some kind, I think, depending on the insurance policy, if a person not named on the policy was driving the insurance company can decline to pay or BM could make a big stink over it.

I wouldn't risk it myself.

Geekeeries's picture

Submitted by Geekeeries on Wed, 05/25/2016 - 8:22am

I wouldn't have an issue with it because it's in BM's name. The only concern I would have would be regarding insurance and being sure that SO is covered when driving someone else's car if something should happen.

Without knowing the full story, how would BM know that SO is driving it if it is SO and SS on an trip?
If it is that big of a deal, then I'd say it makes more sense in the long run to take SO's vehicle and save the headache, otherwise I'd say, not a hill worth dying on.

Kinder1's picture

Submitted by Kinder1 on Wed, 05/25/2016 - 3:41pm

Ugh... I feel like what you are really getting at is something many of us struggle with; SO of DH level of connection to the BM. I am at the point after 13 years that ANYTHING even remotely connected to the BM means trouble. However, there are things our of our control. You cannot set rules for stuff like that especially if you are not part of the activity. Lots of these men walk into things blindly because they want to be with their kids and also not look uncool. The best thing I've done is ask less, discuss less, know less. BM is not significant to me and I'm done with monitoring my DHs actions. If it directly concerns me then I have a voice.