And I'm really proud of him. And myself because I'm learning NOT to feel guilty and just enjoy the change. I can't wait to go to our weekly counseling session to unload tonight.

On Saturday, when we dropped BD off for her weekly 2 hour visit with MIL, MIL once again tried to bypass DH (like, stepped around him and directly addressed me) and ask me if it was okay for her to come to our house to see BD instead (HELL NO. I don't want to be alone with her any more than I have to) and DH just physically stepped in front of me and said, "Mom, we already talked about this and we'll talk later." Which means she was trying to see if she had any wiggle room with me. I confess, I felt my blood pressure rising the moment I got put in the spot like that because I thought DH had already dealt with it.

So when he picked her up, he sat her down to lay it all out to her--the main points were that:
1. From now on, he was in charge of our family's relationship with his family and I was in charge of our family's relationship with mine.
2. Because of number 1, everything related to our family must go through him, which means that she calls him/asks him for anything related to BD and that his answer is FINAL.

Of course, MIL immediately went into victim mode. The first words out of her mouth were, "I didn't know I was a problem."

Ugh. Just hearing him relay what she said pissed me off because she KNOWS she is a problem and now she got called out and wants to play the victim card. Fine.

DH was really smooth. He added these points:
1. No one is a problem, we had just realized that it was unfair for me to take responsibility for HIS family, and being put in the middle like a gopher.
2. It's not just MIL, but with BIL and his wife, all events seem to funnel at me and completely bypass him.
3. He feels disrespected when he already gave his answer and then people go around his back to work on me because they know I say yes very easily and it causes problems in our marriage so now he's taking control.

She still asked if it was okay that he dropped BD off in the morning and then she dropped BD off to me in the afternoon when she's done, and he said NO. (THANK YOU, because it would mean that I would have to be home and adhere to whatever inconsistent schedule she wanted since she can't handle watching BD for more than 4 hours at a time which varies depending on the day. Also, she apparently doesn't know how to work the child seatbelts, so we really don't trust her driving.) Since in the summer, his work is closed on Fridays, he said he will do pick ups and drop offs if she really wants to watch BD.

Then yesterday, we had to go over to her house (she insisted on hosting BIL and his wife's birthday party at her house) and I had been dreading it. She was mostly behaved except she and DH kept bumping heads because she kept trying to interfere with him parenting BD (we agreed to let DH do all the discipline and stuff in his mom's home) to the point where even BIL's wife (they don't have kids) was like, "Do you see this? You mom keeps preventing them from being parents." We had a good laugh because I lamented that they should have kids soon to take some of the heat off of us (they're waiting until their student loans are paid off) and she was like, hopefully MIL will have worked off all of this before they do because she doesn't want to deal with it.

At one point, DH was trying to make BD2.5 eat some mashed potatoes and asparagus and BD was not having it. So DH asked if she'd like to go to another room and eat it or eat it with us, because we can do it either way, and because BD looked at me, I reiterated what DH said to back him up. After a bit of fussiness, BD ate a few bites and we let her go.

MIL walked past me and BIL's wife and muttered under her breath, but loud enough for us to hear, "They're abusing this child."

OMG. CALL CHILD SERVICES. WE MADE OUR CHILD EAT MASHED POTATOES AND TRY ASPARAGUS OR ELSE SHE HAS TO EAT ALONE. SHE'S NOW SCARRED FOR LIFE.

BIL's wife looked at me and mouthed, "What the fuck?" and I shrugged and rolled my eyes. I relayed it to DH later and he was like, "I hate her (his mom.) She's such a passive aggressive bitch."

Yep, sorry you're gonna be the one dealing with her from now on. Just roll off me like water off a duck's back. Especially since now MIL is like super awkward around me while I act the same. I think she's gonna try something soon because DH said she'll stew over it for a few days, but if she does anything out of line, he isn't gonna be nice and will bring up EVERYTHING she ever did that was inappropriate.

So I'm having a good Monday.

P.S. Also, MIL had no idea BM and SS were in the UK (which we only found out about because I do keep tabs on all the crazies in our life) because she hasn't contacted them since early this year.

Oh? Do tell. Didn't you love saying how close you are your grandson are ALL the time when I would be within earshot? Now you haven't spoken/contacted them in almost half a year? Was it all just a show?

Stay tuned for the next episode of MIL.