Continuing update on SD23's college graduation

DH brought a new one up today: He wants to pull both kids out of school the Friday before graduation. Don't know that I'm too happy about that one.

I asked if he'd gotten an invitation. He said yes. I didn't even bother to ask if my name was on it. I'm sure it was not. I asked if he'd gotten tickets. "No. I'm sure SD23 has those." Um, yeah. I told him there was no way he was taking our kids on a 5-hour drive one way if he didn't have the tickets. So of course now he has to contact SD23 about that.

BD9 told me she never told her dad she wanted to go. And it comes out he was "bribing" her with the promise of a cool swimming pool at the hotel he has reserved (evidently for two nights). Great. So now BD9 is torn, she doesn't want to disappoint her dad but she doesn't really want to go. I don't think she even knows that is Mother's Day on Sunday. DH also wants me to drive to my parents 2 hours away so it will be easier for him to take my kids away from me because I'll be "spending time with my mom."

I broke down in tears on my front porch this morning at the thought of not seeing my girls on Mother's Day.

Elizabeth's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

I thought about that but

I thought about that but unfortunately when DH gets mad at SD23 he lashes out at those around him rather than at the source of the problem. I'd rather not have BDs exposed to that.

Just tell him the girls can't

Just tell him the girls can't go. Your desire to spend Mother's Day with your children should trump his desire to hsve them at the graduation.

If the mere thought of not having the girls around on Mother's Day has you in tears, then it's time to find your voice and tell him no.

Exactly.

Put your foot down and say

Put your foot down and say NO, kids are not going. And stick to it. YOU are your biggest impediment here.
Your DH has treated you like crap in regards to his daughter and you have allowed it to happen.
Stand up for yourself.

But I can't prevent him from

But I can't prevent him from taking them. They are his children too. I just wish I could get him to see my (emotional) point of view.

You CAN prevent it, even if

You CAN prevent it, even if it means taking the girls away Thursday after work snd returning Sunday. Is that the ideal wsy to handle this? Nope, but you know he will ignore what you want. You have allowed him to dismiss your feelngs, wants wishes for years. There's no reason why you can't following his example on this issue.

So I made him produce the

So I made him produce the invitation and guess what: It's addressed to only him. Isn't that special!!

Exactly, he sets me up every

Exactly, he sets me up every time and then if I balk I'm the bad guy and he's so put upon by his witch of a wife, the wicked stepmom. It's exhausting. He's a narcissist and I'm really bad at coping with that.

Are you actually surprised by

Are you actually surprised by that?

I am always amazed that you

I am always amazed that you are still married to this guy or have not killed him. We have belonged here since 06 or 07 and his Assholery never ceases to amaze me.I am sorry you have to deal with this.

Well, I just broached the

Well, I just broached the subject and we got in a huge fight and he left the house mad and I'm here crying.

Because of course it is MY fault how SD23 treats me and HE has nothing to do with the relationship we do NOT have. AND, he feels sorry for SD23 because she LOVES our two BDs SO MUCH and hardly ever gets to see them. Gag.

He's so far off in left field in his brain, I can't even reach him.

At least you brought it up.

At least you brought it up. Hopefully it will open up communications and you guys can discuss it more. Without all the crying and running off.

He's a selfish bully. HIS

He's a selfish bully. HIS reactions are not your responsibility, and if he gets mad it's on him. He wants what he wants, everyone else be damned.

Given your strong feelings, I wouldn't give a flip how mad he gets. I'd make sure my kids were with me on mother's day. You take care of YOU.

What kind of bullsh!t does

What kind of bullsh!t does your dh think he's getting away with when the invitation is addressed to him only?

What on earth is his plan when he shows up with the young girls that have no tickets to get in after driving all that way?

I just printed my 8 grad tickets and all over the email and website it said if you don't have a ticket you aren't getting in, and don't think about copying a ticket because the bar code is dedicated to that ticket only.

Ugh.