What's up everyone, new to the forums!

Here is my issue...Recently married, was together for 3 years. My daughter's mother and my daughter ended up moving after we moved states. They did not leave because of the move we just decided that we want different things in life but we remained friends. So she text me earlier today and said I needed to have a talk with my kid.

She comes and visits on all her school breaks. I've noticed when she came she would be quiet, just not herself but keeping to herself. On top of that she alwYs wants to go to my moms house. We had an idea but blamed it on her not used to my wife's kids.

Some background on my wife and kids. She has five but two of the girls live with us. One is 10, the other is 15. The 10 year old has ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. The 15 year ins has depression and anxiety. Both of them are very disrespectful to their Mom. There is a lot of arguing specially first thing in the morning till their meds kick in.

So here is the issue, my Daughter, who is 15 says more and mores she comes visits the less she wants to visit. She doesn't like and isn't used to the chaos with the kids and the Mom, me and Mom used to go at it but we are in a much better place that we haven't gotten in an argument in a long while. When she is at the house we all can tell she is uncomfortable, if her kids are gone she is her happy self again. When the kids get to arguing or being disrespectful she is ready to go. Our 15 year olds do get along and they speak and hang out with each other so there is no hate.

How do I handle this? I don't want to have to choose. I'm stuck in the middle. I want her to keep visiting while not being uncomfortable. My wife feels like shit. She is upset how my kid is a handling this. My wife says this could destroy us. It hurts me more but that's because we used to be closer and when she moved with her mom I just feel we are getting more distant and I'm doing everything I can. I'm stumped and have K clue how to handle this