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Post split, I just want to scream! Opinions, please!

anothermom's picture

Submitted by anothermom on Sat, 03/05/2016 - 4:40pm

My SO moved out a month and a half ago. We were going to try living separate.
Until, the bills started rolling in he was months behind on EVERYTHING.(electric,internet,and propane;was at 0%)He refused to pay and signed off.He thinks that was a favor because now I wasnt stuck with all the back pay.He's a weird one. Anyway,I had to pay deposits and realized, I can't deal with man who would give ASK's money and not make sure home is taken care of first.I won't be the one to pay for everything and let him blow his away. He doesn't make enough for both. it is what it is..
My car had the worst timing to mess up but it's all taken care of,hooray!!
I took the advice of others on here and pretty much redecorated my whole house. I can't wait for my new bed to get delivered (Monday) and my new bedding to arrive Smile
Now, here's my issue. My ex left everything here except his clothes, a bed, and one dresser. Even most of his personal things are here and his dog!! I gave him a month and its still here!I told him, I would charge $50/mo storage!! He, comes to check on the dog when I'm at work so, he has had time to collect his things with out me around! funny, but is it possible to PAS on a pet?
Our car insurance(his half $100) is automatically taken from my checking. The one thing I forgot! I told the ex he'd have to pay the $100 monthly dog fee as well.Plus, the $50 storage he owes me $250. I wanted to keep a bow and some arrows(for my boys). He said $80. He owes $170. This is such a petty amount I know, but its the principle!
I got home from work today and see him and ss19 in my driveway. He asked for the $80. I said take it from what you owe me. Where's my $170? In a nut shell he got mad over the $50 storage.(He'd still owe $120.) He stormed out like a baby and took the arrows on his way out the door!! What a moron! He said he would be here ASAP to get his things.
I want to take him off my insurance. Is that mean????? I won't starve if he doesn't repay me,but parts of me wants him to. On, the other hand, I'd just like to ignore everything that has to do with him and let him know he needs to find his own car insurance for April.

Comments

LONGTIME SM's picture

Submitted by LONGTIME SM on Sat, 03/05/2016 - 4:51pm

You won't get money from him. Cut your losses and cancel the insurance effective immediately. You may get a portion of this months charge refunded to you.

Just J's picture

Submitted by Just J on Sat, 03/05/2016 - 4:52pm

No it's not mean, take him off right away. You'll never see any of that money and if he knows the insurance is deducted from your checking account automatically, he won't pay. Call as soon as you can and remove him. He's a big boy and can get his own insurance. Also, give him a specific date he needs to get the rest of his things out and if he doesn't, either put it all in your front yard for him to pick up or toss it. You're. Not a storage unit, he's not going to pay you like one, and you're not obligated to store his crap for him.

Congrats on your freedom. Enjoy your newly decorated place!

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Sat, 03/05/2016 - 5:04pm

Pack up everything left which he obviously doesn't value and shag it over to his new place. Including the dog, unless it's your 'dream dog,' in which case I'd consider it abandoned and keep it.

You are not the dumping-ground. Abandoned property after 30 days after owner was notified.

Insurance? Clinging to straws a bit -- NO.

Release your inner bitch a bit and let her gallop around.

Icansorelate's picture

Submitted by Icansorelate on Sat, 03/05/2016 - 5:14pm

change your locks.

Go find a storage unit that is free for the first month. Move all his stuff to it, send him a letter telling him where it is and that he has 30 days before they start charging him or sell his stuff (put the unit in his nane).

remove him from your insurance ASAP. If he is on your insurance and has an accident you could be liable.

Then forget he ever existed.

Powerfamily's picture

Submitted by Powerfamily on Sat, 03/05/2016 - 5:20pm

Remove him from your insurance ASAP.

Send a legal letter for whatever notice you need to give him to remove his belongings and dog from your property and stating how much he owes and when he has too pay it or you will sell all his belongings and any money received will be used to cover the bills he did not pay.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Sat, 03/05/2016 - 7:05pm

Yes, let him know so that he can get his own policy, it's the right thing to do. Give him a little notice, it doesn't take long to get insurance set up, and be done with him.

StepLady's picture

Submitted by StepLady on Sat, 03/05/2016 - 9:06pm

Tell him start shopping for insurance Today, then give him a week. In the mean time, change your locks, arrange help to drop off his crap at his home and figure out what YOU want to do with dog. Keep it? Drop off with him? Sit and think about it.

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Sat, 03/05/2016 - 9:29pm

You've given the bass turd enough notice. Let him know that you've called a charity and arranged for them to pick up ALL of his crap, it he gets there before them then it's his, if not it goes to a good cause. List the dog on Craigslist as "Free to a good home." If the ex really wants him he'll get him. I would remove him off the insurance ASAP! Tell him he's set to be off in 48 hrs. That is plenty of time for him to get ins. He can just start again with the same company.

(Echoing everyone above) Change the locks! Forget about the money, forget about him, and move on.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Sun, 03/06/2016 - 2:33am

Please don't put the dog on Craig's list for free. You have no idea what kind of home he will go to and sometimes people get free dogs for bad reasons.

If you don't want him and can't find him a home with someone you know, try to find a rescue that will take him.

DoberGirl's picture

Submitted by DoberGirl on Sat, 06/06/2020 - 6:51am

Please don't give the dog to just anybody. It hasn't done anything wrong and deserves a good home. I volunteer for a Doberman rescue and have seen way too many fabulous dogs suffer at the hands of humans. 

geegeeblue's picture

Submitted by geegeeblue on Sat, 03/05/2016 - 11:31pm

What a loser! You can count on the idea that he is going to try to save himself from paying up what he owes you. He would much rather pocket it or pass it over to skid(s.) That's why I always made it clear to my husband when I was in a serious relationship with him, that if he could afford to pay child support and extras for his kids from previous marriage... Then he better have enough money left to take care of our future bios. If he doesn't have enough spare money to contribute, then he shouldn't be looking for a relationship in the first place. Sorry to sound gold-diggerish, but I just dont think a man can give all his money to his children from first marriage- then go off and try to start a new family broke. If you can't afford it, then be responsible and don't start a new relationship with another woman. It wasn't mentioned whether you have children together and I'm going to assume no. But obviously he had money to care for skid and enough to haul his own while he was with you. But now that it doesn't look like you'll be together, he's going to leave you in the dust. Why would he pay if you two aren't going to be together? He probably could care less because he'll eventually never see you again.
Take him off the insurance and whatever left you have together. It's not mean. It's saving your own ass at this point. He started the irresponsibility first.

anothermom's picture

Submitted by anothermom on Sun, 03/06/2016 - 12:46am

He moved in with a friend who's ready for him to go. He can't take his belongings and dog there.The friend, didn't even take money from my ex because that would mean he'd be there longer.ha,ha
The first couple of weeks were miserable. I hate that I tried to hang on to him. After, a couple weeks, I realized I'm fine. I only have contact with him when, he stops by knowing damn, well I'll be home. I liked it at first,now, it erks me I still battle the loneliness. Especially, when my kids(d13 s11&12) go to bed.
He made a gold digger comment. UNTIL,I mentioned how meeting someone 1/2 way or in our case 1/3 is not digging! Financial future?!? He has none.
No, kids with him thank,God!He is the perfect example of trying to be "Daddy" to late. He had custody of his kids from the beginning, but wanted to "live". D22 gets married in 12 days.He had to give,give,give. Not much, but it was like $1M to him. The other two s19 and d20 wanted what was left. They actually, got jealous of my bio's and thought he bought them things. He admitted to feeling guilty if, he went out with BK's and I. I paid. I said,"invite them",but he didn't want to pitch in or take turns paying for the WHOLE family. SMH

DoberGirl's picture

Submitted by DoberGirl on Sat, 06/06/2020 - 6:55am

He's keeping his stuff and dog there because he thinks the relationship isn't over. He makes comments about you being a gold digger because he wants you to think that you're the one taking advantage of him, not the other way around. If he's been gone for several weeks he should know that he needs to get his own insurance. He's a grown man. None of this is your problem. Stop expecting him to pay you and clear your home of his belongings. Just please, please find the dog the best home possible.  Smile