19 and still 13?
So DD turns 19 in less than 2 weeks. She lives at home, goes to university.
She does not make friends easily, does not see the value. Most friendships have been lost by moving as a child from different day cares when they allowed her dad to pick her up drunk. She never brought anyone home because she or we could never guarantee he would not be drunk or volatile. We moved away where he could not reach us when she was in grade four and recognizing the problem I put her in hockey hoping she would experience friendships with team mates.
She had acquaitences in high school but I never though of these girls as true friends, one died at the hands of a drunk driver, her grief was inconsolable although I thought their friendship was extrembly lose and superficial.
She went solo with a whole bunch of girls to prom, and was assaulted by captain of the high school footballs team.
She rarely goes out, spends time at home with us or studies. She sought counselling in university after the death of her friend, has gone out twice for dinner with old chums from hockey nothing more.
I can not lead by example isolated myself in the 14 years of torture I stayed with her dad, and quite frankly do not know how to make friends myself so have no advice for her.
Ladies, any advice, (she will not join clubs in case you think of that).
can she volunteer at the
can she volunteer at the humane society? sometimes it's easier to relate to cats and dogs than humans, but crossing paths with some of the other volunteers may lead to friendship opportunities.
this is, of course, in addition to therapy.
what interests does she have? does she like books? nature? i am extreeeeemely introverted. the only "friends" i have are coworkers. yes i'm sure she'd benefit from therapy (wouldnt we all!) but dont push her to be or act like someone she's just not. my husband is my very best friend, and there's nothing more enjoyable than just feeling eachother's presence. before i met him, i got plenty of human interation from 8-5 (as i'm sure your daughter does too at school) so i was very much content to go home alone and read or watch a movie and talk to my furbabies.
after helping her find a counselor or therapist, if i were you, u might occasionally suggest opportunites to meet people, just dont be pushy about it, it might just be the way she is.
What if you both picked up a
What if you both picked up a new hobby together? Then she could do that with you and then venture out to others with a league. I am thinking golf, because that has helped me make so many friends. Could be anything, but golf is an easy sport that doesn't require a high level of skill to play. A couple of lessons and you are good and you can pick up clubs used all over...I play in a women's group I started a few years ago just to make more friends. Tennis is another good one.
Just a thought, but I do agree on a lot more therapy...It does help.