I've been dating my bf for 8 yrs. His son will be 21 in May. BF has had his sob since he was 3 due the bio mom having an illness. Because of that bf son has not had many positive female role models in his life. BF had dated alot. His son and I and I should say even his own grandmother and Aunts have never had a close relationship. Once I came into the relation I saw that my bf was a fun, do anything for you type of guy. We'd go on vacations together and they were ok, until I realized his son was smoking pot on vacation this was when he was 17. BF and I would fight and sure enough vacation it would happen again. Long story short I moved in with my bf and son and found out the son runs the household. One example he tells my bf " I need you to wash this I need ASAP" BF goes out to start his car every morning, bf told me his son wants his meals prepared fresh every day(I would make a couple casseroles on a Sunday so if we were rushed we'd have a quick meal), son driving bf truck over his vehicle cuz it's cooler than his car. Son has a sense of entitlement. Now I can hear and smell his smoking pot in his room a few feet from ours at night. Also caught him smoking on the porch. Son and I got into a verbal argument and bf did not defend me even saying" oh its a stage he'll grow out of it like me" Since that fight the son and I barely speak. Even though bf and I would fight he'd keep smoking in his room or porch. Now going to the grandparents, aunts, Uncle and TWITTER about how horrible I am. Yes because my bf said he allowed his son and friends to party at the house every weekend and when I moved in he told him it was to stop. Son expressed he was depressed, I found a counselor who was also drug counselor. They went and spoke to some drug addicts and supposedly the addicts told him it's pot its not an addictions. So I found another who also specialized in drug addiction ( bf sibs all have some sort of addiction) Son started to go as well as bf and I. BF got mad because the counselor basically told him he's not helping his son by doing everything for him. BF and I are trying to save this relationship but things aren't changing with his son. He is suppose to have 1 chore which bf doesn't enforce, keep his room clean. You can barely open the door due to clothes, bottles, food containers etc. I took pictures because one of the things when we go to counseling bf says the things I say are happening, bf says they aren't. We went to a family counseling, and the counselor say another side I think of son, he was f this and that to me, yelling at me, and the counselor said, then move out. Things son does is so disrespectful. He will leave and just say good bye to bf. BF sister died, sister that son asked her because she partied with him ( and she has a heroin addicted daughter) he asked her to move in with her and drug addicted Uncle because me and bf fight all the time (and the thing is, we never fight when he's home) So she dies and he only when to an hour of her wake because he wanted to watch football. You wanted to live with her and you have partied with her but can't show your respect? Any advice on how to cope because I really have just not like him.