DH's daughter's newest ploy????
Not sure what is up with DH's daughter, if maybe she made a New Year's resolution to make an effort in 2016, or if it's once again another game to set me up and she is playing all sweet and innocent again
So at SGS's birthday party on the weekend, I followed DH into the party room a few minutes after him (made a pit stop in the washroom where I ran into YSD and had a nice chat, hug etc... first)
So when I catch up to DH who is chatting with his eldest daughter and I walk in the room, fully expecting her to carry on whatever conversation and completely ignore me as usual, I was totally caught off guard when she cheerfully says "Hi!" to me. I seriously was tempted to turn around to see who the person behind me it was she was talking too LOL
After I got over my surprise I said hello back, asked her how she was etc... and she continued to be pleasant and friendly. Completely, totally unlike her. DH looking very pleased by it all
I brushed it off to her just putting on the usual act whenever BM's SO is around, to make him feel like I have a better relationship with her than he does, etc... or whatever point she tries to prove by that
Especially because later in the party I politely asked her if there was something I could do to help (DH wasn't around to hear the exchange) and she gave me that blank look, with no response at all, then turned to YSD and asked her for help with one of the kids games...
But then this evening, DH walks into the living room where I was and says he just got a text message from his daughter and that she would like ME to get in touch with her about YSD's shower, at my earliest convenience
DH is all happy and insisting I phone her as soon as possible, when I agree I'll phone her tomorrow, he says "don't forget" all happy and thinking this is progress
I'm thinking, she has our home phone, my cell phone, my email, can text me directly but what does she do? Texts DH to request that I contact her
Hmmmmm....I'm thinking it's just a new game and she's trying to make it look to DH like she is 'really trying' again
What does everyone else think?
Our history has been rocky and DH's daughter has played many games in the past, always trying to set me up to look like the bad guy, when she herself is the one with all the issues
So, turning a new leaf in 2016, or just a new ploy??
She has your cell number?
She has your cell number? Then, I am betting ploy.
Just ask DH to ask her to
Just ask DH to ask her to contact you directly.
I'd be wary about the
I'd be wary about the two-faced behaviour. I feel she may be about to use you, whilst trying to look good in front of Daddy. How old is she? Will she be looking for financial help with the Shower?
I wonder if it's possible to invite her to coffee to discuss your plans, in a neutral location with you and one of your trusted friends (who, of course, is a *whizz* at planning parties - but doesn't actually have to be, really.) This should do two things:
1. Protect you from any nonsense, whilst making you appear supportive and totally with the programme.
2. Your friend will be able to see through any weird behaviour and say if she thinks there may be a game plan by the SD.
In essence, I feel she may well be up to something, but you need to remove DH because his wish for you to get along happily may well cloud his judgement, especially when she has form.
I hope you have clarity soon.
Ignore, unless she contacts
Ignore, unless she contacts you directly. What someone does for others to see or hear means nothing. If her attitude has changed towards you, she would be pleasant no matter who is or isn't around.
If she was being genuine and really trying, she would call you herself, why go through her dad?
Tell your DH that you would prefer she just call you directly (and don't take any flack from him about it.)
I would ignore your SD and
I would ignore your SD and DH. Just answer DH "She'll let me know when she needs help, I'll chat with her". Make light of it.
In my case, I just stay away from all of it, unless SD contacts me directly; which she never does. It is a game that my SD plays to make herself look good in DH's eyes; which she manages by being "all sweet". I don't respond to her "sweetness", I just make light of it all. It took me years to get to this point, by the way.
Example: SS52 has just began a relationship with DH again, after 14 years; SS52 spent 14 years in prison. SD55 took it upon herself to arrange meetings, etc. for us to visit with SS52 (control freak). I put a stop to it immediately. I told DH, "We don't need SD55 as a go-between; when you want to see SS52 (he lives in neighboring State), we'll make the arrangements (DH can text or call SS52 anytime), and go from there". It was the same with birthday and Christmas gifts. SD55 took it upon herself to tell DH what to do; wrong! I put a stop to that also.
My point with my DH; we can take care of it, don't need SD's interference; she has always been our problem (SD55). I don't know what DH and SD say behind my back and don't care; but it is understood that I don't do "go-between". SD55 hasn't spoke or come to our home since Thanksgiving; I've made it clear she is not welcome, without saying a word to her.
I don't want to be sucked back into the mistreatment I let myself endure for 30+ years. Once I made this "disengagement" decision, I won't go back and I'm not a person to forget or forgive, after all the passive aggression and nasty emails. Sorry, but I'm moving beyond my SD.
Send a text to her saying "DH
Send a text to her saying "DH let me know you want to get together re: YSD shower. I'm happy to help, just give me a call when you are free to chat."
Then you can say you reached out per his message but never heard back and there's proof you did your part. Maybe she does actually call you but you can ignore the call and delete the record..
Thanks everyone for the
Thanks everyone for the advice, my suspicions have been confirmed that it is all a ploy to 'show' Dh how hard she's "trying". As it turns out, she went into labor today and has now had the baby, so the call is on hold. Think I just won't bother. When we see her at the hospital tomorrow if she brings it up we can discuss in front of DH otherwise oh well too bad
Just trying to make her Dad
Just trying to make her Dad think she is being nice to you. If she was being genuine, she would call you directly.I have lots of experience with dealing with this kind of crap. Pisses my SDs off when I laugh or give some kind of sign that I am aware of what they are doing. I would let her know that you are aware of what she is doing so that she knows you arent buying it.